Roads. Crossroads.
As I contemplate over the latest product information that I have received with regards to my newest project, my mind drifted unconciously back to my last tango practise. It was.. enjoyable. Though I did feel mildly embarrased that I could not stop perspiring. My partner was concerned and consoled me because she thought that I was feeling very stressed.
Truth is. I could not stop holding my breath because of my posture and its making me feel uncomfortable. Ah well, the ills of having too much to "spill" out just beneath my chest. Means I have to hold my breath to hold my tummy up silly.
Guess I have to find some way to either breathe as I dance or I just have to find some way to hold up my framework like switching on some kitchen light. Just a simple flick and its done.
My Convocation is this friday and I have just collected my graduation gown today. Thousands of thoughts flashed across my mind when I stood there while the boutique studio lady dressed me up properly with the graduation gown so that I can confirm that the size is fitting. The fact is - it fits to a T. Standing there, looking at myself in the mirror - How time flies. 4 years. Since I first embarked on this long and almost never ending journey of struggling for my studies at night while I work in the daytime. Not to mention the initial years of my studies I was basically maintaing a balance of clearing my bank loan debts [which I incurred during my 2 yrs of studies in NUS and that... is another story], tryin to accommodate a girlfriend who simply siphons off whatever financial means I could barely afford. Makes me wonder how did I survive that initial 1yr plus anyway.
No matter, the thanks I have to give to her though was that I learnt to spend really little on myself. Which subsequently cultivated a very specific spending lifestyle which helped me pull through the undergrad years and even saved enough to accommodate my final yr of degree studies on a full-time basis.
The point is - as I stood there looking at myself in the mirror a sudden sadness whelmed up inside me. For that fleeting moment I resisted the impulse to release the tears and simply shout out," I've finally done it!" I stood in silence for quite a while.. the stillness of the air-conditioning creating a sudden increase in the pressure of the surroundings. The boutique studio lady - Alice is her name - stood by my side sheepishly while she enquired gently,"Do you feel that it fits?"
I smiled. Swiped the card. Collected the gown and left. High Spirits.
Back in the office after work hours today my colleagues gathered in a small commotion congratulating me with beaming smiles and gentle cheers. I guess it's been awhile since they had some excuse to 'celebrate' something.. anything. The unexpected amount of attention I received caused a slight blush which only prompted them to tease me further. Making me put on the gown despite my clumsiness. Using the camera installed inside the mobile phones, proceeded to take snapshot of me.
I almost felt like some mannequin being parodied on a runaway.
As I left the office, my pace slowed to a stroll. My mind pondered over my past, present and the future. Of who, what, where and why. Of the times when I just wanted to take a holiday and get away from it all. Of the times where I simply didnt have a care in the world. I missed those times. To be truthful, I haven't had a holiday for at least 4yrs. And this holiday just wont happen anytime soon because I'm so close to stabilising my current job. This project has to take off successfully if I want to have sufficient free time for myself in the near future. As what the direct translation of the chinese saying goes,"Better to experience the initial bitterness and savour the sweet aftermath."
As I reached left the pedestrian path and walked out to the main road, I stood at the crossroads. Pondering.
Boarded a cab. With a smile stretching my lips from left to right. The lingering of a sweet aftermath.
Life. Has just begun. My road. My path.
Truth is. I could not stop holding my breath because of my posture and its making me feel uncomfortable. Ah well, the ills of having too much to "spill" out just beneath my chest. Means I have to hold my breath to hold my tummy up silly.
Guess I have to find some way to either breathe as I dance or I just have to find some way to hold up my framework like switching on some kitchen light. Just a simple flick and its done.
My Convocation is this friday and I have just collected my graduation gown today. Thousands of thoughts flashed across my mind when I stood there while the boutique studio lady dressed me up properly with the graduation gown so that I can confirm that the size is fitting. The fact is - it fits to a T. Standing there, looking at myself in the mirror - How time flies. 4 years. Since I first embarked on this long and almost never ending journey of struggling for my studies at night while I work in the daytime. Not to mention the initial years of my studies I was basically maintaing a balance of clearing my bank loan debts [which I incurred during my 2 yrs of studies in NUS and that... is another story], tryin to accommodate a girlfriend who simply siphons off whatever financial means I could barely afford. Makes me wonder how did I survive that initial 1yr plus anyway.
No matter, the thanks I have to give to her though was that I learnt to spend really little on myself. Which subsequently cultivated a very specific spending lifestyle which helped me pull through the undergrad years and even saved enough to accommodate my final yr of degree studies on a full-time basis.
The point is - as I stood there looking at myself in the mirror a sudden sadness whelmed up inside me. For that fleeting moment I resisted the impulse to release the tears and simply shout out," I've finally done it!" I stood in silence for quite a while.. the stillness of the air-conditioning creating a sudden increase in the pressure of the surroundings. The boutique studio lady - Alice is her name - stood by my side sheepishly while she enquired gently,"Do you feel that it fits?"
I smiled. Swiped the card. Collected the gown and left. High Spirits.
Back in the office after work hours today my colleagues gathered in a small commotion congratulating me with beaming smiles and gentle cheers. I guess it's been awhile since they had some excuse to 'celebrate' something.. anything. The unexpected amount of attention I received caused a slight blush which only prompted them to tease me further. Making me put on the gown despite my clumsiness. Using the camera installed inside the mobile phones, proceeded to take snapshot of me.
I almost felt like some mannequin being parodied on a runaway.
As I left the office, my pace slowed to a stroll. My mind pondered over my past, present and the future. Of who, what, where and why. Of the times when I just wanted to take a holiday and get away from it all. Of the times where I simply didnt have a care in the world. I missed those times. To be truthful, I haven't had a holiday for at least 4yrs. And this holiday just wont happen anytime soon because I'm so close to stabilising my current job. This project has to take off successfully if I want to have sufficient free time for myself in the near future. As what the direct translation of the chinese saying goes,"Better to experience the initial bitterness and savour the sweet aftermath."
As I reached left the pedestrian path and walked out to the main road, I stood at the crossroads. Pondering.
Boarded a cab. With a smile stretching my lips from left to right. The lingering of a sweet aftermath.
Life. Has just begun. My road. My path.
posted by Inarticulate at 10:11 PM
4 Comments:
graduation!?
congrats julian :)
mine gonna be next year.. sobs.
panda
Hey i also grat le nia..couldnt make it for ya grad ceremony but will b there for u mentally^^ anyway see ya next prac ya^^
congratx bro . go flash ur degree around now . LOL .
Congratulations :)
- Oddlola
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