Calculations

It does not require much effort to realise that the rainy season is here again. During the ending months of the annual weather periods, occasional showers across the island favors the daily routines. Rain, rain go away. Come another day.

Here I am back at home again. The result of a petition by a number of the night shift reservists who tried to liaise with the Head of the Reservist Unit claiming on grounds that the active units have gone back home thus the support side of the reservists would not be required. What had not been discussed or rather pondered upon is the fact the day shift reservists might debate in heated dissatisfaction as well. Which is the kind of response I got when I called a reservist friend and asked him about tonight's changes. Apparently the day shift people are unhappy that the night shift is not needed and thus we should come back tomorrow and serve as day shift so that the day shift people can rest instead. Hallo, so are you day shift calculative weasels prepared to come back at night and serve in our shifts or are you expecting us to simply sit back and serve a 24-hr shift? In the first place we [or rather myself] could always just kick back our legs and sleep in camp. I don't have to book out and make the long journey back home so as to lessen my sleeping hours. It's all because of a number of family-oriented night shift reservists who either drove or stay near the camp and wants to go back home at the slightest opportunity despite any possible repercussions. Why can't you anxious daddies just stay for one night and finish the damned shift? I mean, we've got a chance to slack legally in camp and you guys had to go wake up the commander and insist we book out despite that we have come back at 7am to sign out and eat breakfast? What a bunch of lard brains. I'm like almost 10yrs younger than you guys and I seem to be thinkin more logically than you old geezers.

And what's this discontentment I hear going around the day shift people that we night shift people are getting more welfare than the day shift? Asses for mouths and faeces for hearts. Bunch of happy-go-lucky guys should stay back and watch how we test the system over and over again including preparing all the virtual units for immediate mobility throughout the night so you chessplayer-wannabes can just walk happily in with the active units and start pressing keyboard controls for movement and war games when you report for day shifts. Yeah tats right, try having your sleeping and waking hours turned upside down and still try to keep a sharp mind on units placement and re-allocation throughout the night so that they can re-group together as a battalion in preparation for the next day mission. You happily separate all the units and we're expected to come back in and pick up the pieces and now you're calculating on how we should serve the same number of hours as you guys.

Kiss my ass.

Alrite fine, enough of grousing. This is really unbecoming of my usual self. I'm surprised why do I bother so much about reservist anyway. It disrupts my work schedules, my personal commitment schedules, turns my biological clock timings upside down and the worst part is that I didn't volunteer for any of these.

Coming saturday I'm also very worried that I might not be able to make it for the Viennesse Waltz class conducted by Michelle and Why Pong at 1:30pm. The last few workshops for waltz was really one of the key reasons that sparked my interest in social dances. I used to have a rather closed concept about partner dances because.. well I guess I'm not comfortable with someone being so close and moving together with me. Waltz changed all that [credits to Pauline, Wei Lin and Yeeshan for that LOL] and so it has now branched out into Salsa [or latin perhaps], rock and roll with other possible upcoming dances like jive, viennesse waltz and cha cha as well. Unfortunately the dark clouds looms over my head and the free saturday i had been hoping with abated breath is jus not realizing rapidly. With the active units dragging their mission timings again the part 2 of this exercise looks set to drag on for the whole saturday again and us reservist units are highly possible of being recalled back to "test and prepare for them"

How wonderful. I'm absolutely tearing with unexpressed amounts of joy.

Julian! Stop grousing! You sound like you're growing a long white beard and constantly stroking it while waving a crooked wrinkled finger at the sky and cursing in any possible manner at every other thing in this world that had caused you some form of upset. Direct or indirect.

Had been pretty inspired by some youtube videos online and was particularly inspired by how a particular guy called Castro or something on how the song for Omarion's "O" was interpreted. Took a few parts of their chereo, modified it and whoppee a new chereo is actually formed. Credits to Yeeshan for introducing me to that video. Even Zelia nodded her head and said it is a slight breakthrough from my old style. Problem is I am not successfully incorporating this new style into mine yet so certain moves looked odd when I'm tryin to execute them. Was listening carefully to all the various beats and finally settled on a new 8 sets of chereo. Yup, this will be something new for me indeed. Getting a little excited myself here.

Sigh, 20 minutes past midnight. Alrite folks. I'm putting my blog pen down for now.

Wistful. Wishing.

Getting a little sappy and a little wistful from listening to the few songs I found from the Princess Hours Soundtrack, credits to the introduction of the main track from Kelvin's Blog. I'm not sure what is the title of the song neither do I have a clue what is the meaning of the song about. Simply listening to the guy singing in the song raises a little part of me that suddenly feels.. needed. I guess from the mood of the song it's about someone who's wishing for something but just a little out of reach. I could be wrong but then again, aren't most ballads revolving around something that's out of touch? Be it unstarted or an ending? I do not need to specifically refer to the meaning to just boy-girl relationships [though like 80% of the ballads I listen to seems to be categorised in that area] because there are other exceptions like Corrine May's "Fly Away" which definitely tugged at my heart strings and brought the faintest trace of emotion flecked on the tiny corner of my eye. Is it any wonder given the massive ratio of guy-gal relationships being fed to us compared to other reasons for our sadness that is probably making people feel that without our personal counterpart life just seems so lifeless? Whatever happened to other Next-of-kin relationships that should contribute to our different emotions too? Perhaps my statement might be rather sweeping to assume that people only matter about what happens to their personal relationship but I place a certain share of the responsibility of this "mental conditioning" for our current state of mind on all the sappy love songs.

Alrite I think I am getting a little over-reacting here. Julian! It's just a typical Korean Love Song!

The last few days of reservist had been a major source of upset for me mainly because I'm very very pissed off with the way they coordinated their allocation of manpower. Rather, I'm upset because our Head didn't [or perhaps couldn't] fight for our welfare in the sense when the active units simply request to activate us reservists [despite our shift hours being planned in advance] they couldn't say no. Of course I am not encouraging them to display signs of insubordination [A General giving orders to a LTC does not possess the word of NO in their dictionary perhaps] but surely there should be cases where our Head can display sufficient reasons [be it rationing or possible logical grounds] to ensure we do not get activated at random like active units? I mean, we're reservists a.k.a. reserve troops. What is this thinking I've been hearing going around the camp mates that reservist camp lately that we're the fontline guinea pigs to be fed to the enemy when the war breaks out? Such rumours ought be clarified for it brings about unnecessary questioning not to mention a possible commotion amongst the reservists should this matter be publicly discussed. No matter, my queries stops here because I shall isolate this matter as according to specific circumstances. It's just less than a week more to the end of this exercise so yeah, get on with it and get on with life.

Hung out with the dance peeps at Marina South Steamboat and they finally witnessed why I am called "Prawn King" a.k.a the King of Prawn Eaters. No I do not wolf down a Guiness Book of World Records time for the number of prawns I can eat within a minute but simply because I can eat the whole prawn. Lock, stock and barrel. Yes inlcluding the feelers as well. Pauline called me a monster when she heard about my feat - she was away in the ladies at that point of time when I was displaying my unique skill of prawn eating. Brian took down the video of me eating the prawn. Hmmm.. shall attempt to get it from him via MSN perhaps. I do wonder too how I look when I completely devour the whole prawn in within a few bites. Yeeshan was rationalising that my rate of digestion starts at the mouth thats probably why the prawn shells do not cut my throat when I swallow. Hello people, haven't you heard of chewing? You know, the grinding of the molars? Chomp Chomp? Then Gulp? You may add in a burp to personalise your styling if you wish should you ever want to try to imitate my feat as well. No worries, I'm not applying for any patent rights nor any attempts to trademark this feat. A nickname is sufficient for me.

During the process of the steamboat dinner videos were taken with one memorable scene of Yeeshan attempting to cook a sambal prawn. Yan can cook, so can Yee? LOL. The scene of the two tables were basically separated into two zones - The War Zone and Post-War Zone as how Yeeshan described when he was sitting down with our table and peacefully sipping his soup from the steamboat mix. Mus admit my side is pretty quiet perhaps due to the different mixture of company. The War Zone table were people like Josh, Zelia, Kelvin, Pris, JingWei and Yeeshan so probably they were much more comfortable with each other in maximising the volume of noise. My table was a rag-tag mixture of Brian, Yang Yang, Pris, Evon, Anna, Wei Lin and Pauline including Peter who's actually in the centre of two tables so I guess they were more unsure of how to link topics at times. Well overall, we had fun which also lifted my spirits much more as compared to my totally disappointed being when I was cooped in that uniform of camouflage prints.

The finale was staged at Marina Superbowl which we proceeded to attempt feats of scoring at knocking down pins with all the strength we could muster. Yes Pauline, no worries you jus need to learn to apply more strength appropriately. Same for Kelvin whom I see a good force being sent out but unable to control a consistent final release thus making his scores fluctuate wildly. A few crazy shots were also done on Wei Lin's camera and that my dear friends ended a simple dinner cum movie outing [I could not watch Happy Feet with them because of the infuriating call-back to camp to resolve shifts that my side could not have planned more properly]. The only blessing I could count was the review of the movie was rather unsatisfactory therefore I am spared from a un-needed expense of a movie ticket.

Surprises now and then fuels my interest
like catching up on what who when of the latest
Looking forward everytime to discover more
that character appeal which draws me and furthermore

The gentle curve that winds up the corner of your lips
rebounds on my heartbeat and floats it like will-o-wisp
No direct contact of communication just the short chatter
simple, short and sweet yet of no significant matters

Questions abound, reeling in uncertainty
like a dance chereo that greys in musicality
styling of unconfirmed signals that blurs the eyes
creating stage confusion and chaotic cries

The present is what thy significanise
For no haste is needed to galvanise
sip in the gentle company of thy presence
is already. the most significant present.

Darn, no SA dance training for a whole week. Damn the night shifts. Sigh.

Rain. Musings.

Torrents of pelters.
Warded by shelters.
Obscured view by hazy mist.
Musings. The Gist.

Getting a break from the office is not exactly something I'd refuse but with a recent drive and interest in the project I'm involved in I'd say I wonder about what is goin on inside the office without me around to assist in the technical enquiries. The Office had allocated a technical specialist just before I left last Wednesday because my reservist started yesterday which was on a thursday. I just hope the tech guy can answer the relevant questions because not all of them are just purely technical in nature nor is it purely general enquiries in nature. I mean, if you're based in Singapore and someone asks you,"So what are the current upmarket brands of Computers that I can compare with in Malaysia with regards to your desktop?

Damn. This ain't fair, man.

The Reservist exercise didn't start yesterday as there were some system server problems [or so I heard] and so we ended up being able to book out relatively early in fact [ard 7plus pm close to 8pm] and my first instinct was to actually wave for a cab and fly down straight to NYP to train with SA people. It didn't matter to me that I had only 20 bucks left in my wallet and I might not have enough to eat later. It didn't matter that I might be already stiff and tired from waiting around all day for proper instructions in the Reservist Unit. It also didn't matter that I haven't had my dinner because of the long debriefing. And finally it didn't matter that my family didn't know I booked out of camp early. It just mattered that there's new chereo to be learnt and I wanted to learn it fast, learn it well and perform it.

Am I detecting a slight sense of obsession here?

The results are showing for my built being toned and my overall physique slimming down. Even the sleeveless quicksilver T-shirt that I didn't dare to wear for so long fitted me nicely when I donned it in front of my mirror this morning after my shower. Funny thing is I didn't get too concious about specifically trying to slim down. All I did was to catch up on sleep and eat fruits during lunch hours. One reason is because I would go straight to dance after work then practise till late hours [usually 10:30pm latest 11pm] then head straight home excluding the light supper because of the need to supress hunger pangs. And abadacabra, I lost weight! close to 5kg within weeks. The effects did feel good though for my pull-ups improved [perhaps due to less weight being required to lift LOL] and I do feel a slight improvement in speed. Not so sluggish as compared to months back.

As the showers of rain increased in strength outside my window, my thoughts flitted unconciously back to the announcements for yesterday in SA. There'd be two teams being sent for DanceWorks in Mar next year - One team will carry the name of Chroma X [sigh, how I wish I was able to join] and the other is unconfirmed. Peter will concentrate on Chroma X while I will assist him in drilling the other team. Hmmm, maybe it is time to show the juniors how serious I take dance. Of course I'm not sure yet on how to drill them as detailed as how Peter would for Chroma X but.. I will find my way. I want them to improve and feel the same way as I do for competitions. Especially the ferocity of competitiveness for such inter-school events.

The Music's made for us to move
Not just the definition of groove
There's nothing really much to prove
Akin to what attitude makes one seem aloof

Of Latin, Waltz, Hiphop, Jazz and Contemporary
So transient. So fusion. So temporary.
A goal is needed but alas not rewarded
A pierce of pain and very disappointed

Passion is what drives one to improve
But a goal is what makes one realise if there is improvement
A new goal is needed
And close advice to be heeded

Pick up the pieces and continue to strive
Stage Presence should be the next target
For events are just like auditions
simply to prove your value in the market

Yes Sir, its time to strengthen my body's flow and my whacking. Not to mention my hands and leg coordination when handling different styles.

Bishan Park

Today marks the satisfactory ending of a week long tiring preparation for a rather big performance at Bishan Park. Apparently the Deputy Prime Minister [DPM] Mr Wong Kan Seng was also present thus the amount of fanfare generated was rather big indeed. Even the usual stage size had been expanded to almost twice or three times the normal size.

StageArts Dance performed a total of 2 items. Namely Beyond Legends and a finale item that is a combination of the song Sexy Back, Buttons and Move Your Feet. Indirectly it means 4 items were performed today just that the last three had been packaged into short items mainly to showcase different styles and the unity of the club.

But I had been very unsatisfied with my own performance.

Mistakes aplenty and wrong timings. Missed a few counts and was slow in executing some steps. Although Peter had mentioned that the Beyond Legends item was rather rushed and he will not expect us to dance it 100% correct but as a very "senior" personnel in StageArts Dance I was very concerned that I should hit at least the 90% if not higher mark. Alas, the pressure of stage performances still claimed my nerves somewhat and the mistakes started showing one by one.

From next tuesday onwards, a new chereo will be set into place. The song had not been confirmed but the choices are just a matter of whether its Ciara's "Get Up" or Janet Jackson's "Get it Out Me" and I'm really intrigued to see how Peter will interpret the music to create a new chereo for us to dance and learn while practising at the same time.

The day for the performance did not start off well because it appears everyone had been more concerned about getting to Bishan Park but did not manage a thorough job of ensuring all the headcounts had been accounted for. The reaction from Peter was the same as the saturday [yesterday] outburst - He shouted. When we reached the destination he gathered the committee members and gave them a strict talking to. The characteristic about Peter is that he expects a very high and efficient standard of administration from the committee. He stressed that he can be patient with making us improve our dance standards but when it comes to administration he would expect the committee to be very clear about their jobscopes and required duties. Example, confirming a clear reply on what is the headcount, who is late, who is missing and what is the reason.

The mood turned more jovial when Peter started announcing who wanted color on their hair. Yeeshan volunteered first and Peter started to spray white then red on his hair. Following that JingWei then myself and some others went up to Peter to get ourselves a new "hair dye" as well. Wow. my hair jus stood up like some porcupine spikes. Could have burst a balloon anytime. Looked pretty interesting though. I think I'm beginning to enjoy making myself look different. I was still initially reeling from shock when my hair was made to cut so short and styled furthermore.

The actual performance... well I cant say too much till I have viewed the video properly from Peter's camera.

Pastamania @ Bishan was our lunching area and lots of merriment was happening there as well. Laughter, some teasing here and there. There were so many of us that we were close to tearing the whole place down with our potential noise volume. Pauline did surprise me a little with her quick thinking when I used the puzzle that Bryan posed to us during a lepak session at C.A.N cafe on saturday night. I managed to complete my Marina Linguine, so did Peishan and Pauline but Wei Lin's Meatball Sphagetti [I hope I got the name correct] went relatively untouched. Further asking revealed that the sphagetti was not really prepared well and the meatball was rather.. unchewable if my memory serves me correctly on their terms of description.

After the Pasta lunch Yeeshan, Kelvin, Phoebe, Zelia, Rene, JingWei, Priscilla and myself went to Food Junction because Zelia wanted some hot soup and Phoebe wanted some desserts. Pauline and Wei Lin went shopping around the 4th level. Cant remember who was with them though. More jokes and merriment while I waited for time to reach 2:15pm so that I can watch the new dance move in town - Step Up.

Tonite - I shall sleep early. Too tired to continue. Will discuss more abt Step Up in detail when I am more awake. Ciaoz.

Waltz. Whether.

So the weekend is here once again and I'm basking in the aftermath of a smile that had been imprinted onto my heart the moment I stepped into the dance studio. God, feels so good to feel the music of classical waltz flowing through my soul and letting feet glide across the studio floor. One little grouse though is I am beginning to find it is either the studio floor getting too slippery or my ballroom shoes are just not having enough grip.

Was watchin the video that Rene sent me last night for my waltz practise with Anna. Seems alrite on video though surprisingly I felt some timing resistance when we were doin the actual chereo. Yang Yang commented my butt still sticks out when I move away from Anna sometimes. Sigh. I'll work harder on overcoming this mental barrier.

So now I'm facing a crossroads - at my workplace the Manager has designated a new upcoming project to be under my charge in the near future probably several more months down the road. In other words, I might be promoted to Project Team Leader earlier than I thought. Recruitment, Training, immersing myself in product knowledge and being a walking dictionary for the Project I'll be handling while maintaining a level of service quality in addition to hitting sales targets. At my dance I have been getting more and more active involving myself in jazz, going for external hiphop classes, getting involved in classical waltz and possibly in the near future other forms like Latin, Cha Cha, Rock & Roll, Jive as well. *Stressed*

It's surprising how time jus seems to fly without one knowing when the activities are packed back to back and small wonder given me trying to be all rounder. Hurray jus let me don my red cape and red underpants and push my hair back into a slick gel-combed hairstyle. Yes, I swear in order to achieve that hairstyle I would require gel, hair spray, erm possibly anythin that would give the kind of hold on my hair like what Ryan Conferido can do with his in the first season for So You Think You Can Dance. Imagine me flying at more than Mach 2 while attempting to maintain a near perfect hairstyle. Hurray.

Some thoughts did float back to a slight nostalgia of the chereo drilling days I had with the rest of the gang [Chroma] and well, guess it wont be so soon when those days will come again. Initial was nightmare but as the time progressed down the road I realised I could have learnt so much more during that time. Developed this belief that the mind is a very powerful weapon and lots of matters can be handled much easier if the mental state of mind is strong.

No matters. As a good brother of mine quoted - No point looking too much at the past. Indeed. Reminiscene of the sad past is only a thing for those who cannot move on. Look back to remember what should be avoided or what to be corrected. No to dwell on the matter and let history unconciously repeat itself because of an unwillingness to believe that the present will be any different. Concious. Or Subconcious.


Walkin. Strolling. Browsing. Shopping.
Munching. Teasing. Laughing. Aching.
Smiling. Glancing. Talking. Discussing.
Explaining. Understanding. Nodding. Beaming.

Of characteristics and habits
Of Bus Stops and Buses
Whether it means of any significance
Whether the point of understanding is common

It does.

Right, up up and away we go. Here I come Val. Next stop - Jitterbugs Hiphop Class.