Friday, November 18, 2005

Hyun Joon

Ever wondered how those robotic dancers move?


Be amazed.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Rollercoaster

A resolution to complete all remaining assignments and essays due.

Strengthened by the fact that I'm probably gonna be ignored a lot more often nowadays. Consolation? The strong beats of Fatboy Slim's "Renegade Master" and Deepest Blue's "Give it Away" accompanying my drooping eyelids whenever I attempt to paw through endless piles of notes and readings.

My team for the World Cyber Games had made it through to the Semi-finals. *Wry smile* Given the number of teams present it would be disastrous if we could not even made it through the preliminary rounds. General praises were given for our chereo transitions and formation changes. Unfortunately, we have no highlights to speak of and our costumes were commented as "bland" by Patrick.

I couldn't agree more.

Sun shades to enhance our overall image giving us a more futuristic look. A jacket to replace our current colour T-shirts so that we look "bigger" on the dance stage in the Semi-final rounds. Fine-combing needed for chereography details.

An online friend has given me a sudden beep to asked about my well-being. She sensed that I'm slowly sliding into mild depression. Of Sweetness and the Bitter Aftertaste. Of Clouds of Gray and restrained Contact and finally Of Moods, decisions, words and hurts. Even sent me a sketch of a young fair lady, gentle stirrings and sudden happiness, like a sudden glow amidst the gray shadows.

"When you think you're bad enough, there'll be others worse off than you."

Though it might sound like I'm elevating my own misery at the expense of others, it did make me feel slightly better. The rollercoaster rides didn't seem so scary anymore.

In addition, 2 other friends' good cheer and beaming messages did bring some good cheer back into my heart. Guess that's the power of friends.

A step forward. Rejuvenation.

A longer step.

Encouraged.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

A step short of Paradise

Hurray, I have jus spent my first holiday in months. Funny thing is - I didn't feel it. A case of having too many "school days" on my hands to the extent that I don't feel the difference between holidays and school days anymore? But why shouldn't I? After all, I still need to travel on school days. Of dragging my tired and weary body to the gray and black marble building that holds classes for thousands of students. Some aspiring to achieve first class honours while some others are simply there to "get a degree" without even thinking why they are really there in the first place. How technocratic.

Jus recovered [well not totally but much better as compared to the first day of sickness] from a very severe bout of food poisoning. Was in pain from 9am+ in the morning till about 4pm+ in the late afternoon. Then when the excruciating pain finally subsided I began to run a high temperature. I began to feel faintly unconciousness, not in the fainting spell kind but more of not exactly knowing what's going on around yourself and I could actually feel myself beginning to slur a few words once or twice. The lucky thing was - she was around to take care of me. Of such sweetness that had never filled my heart now empowered myself. Body and Soul. Constantly my body was raging and failing but my mind tells me - Be strong and get well. You have someone who worries about you. Do not disappoint her.

The following day she came over again. This time to ensure that I was much better than yesterday. She even brought over a Movie VCD titled "Everlasting Regret" starring Sammi Cheng & Leung Kar Fai. It was a movie which I wanted to catch badly with her company but alas, school; dance and other commitments kept us tied up until the cinemas had stop their runs on showing this movie. Such disappointment. Which was immediately dispelled when I saw her take the VCD out of the slim whitish-gray plastic bag.

However, after the movie, she became strangely quiet. Attempts at gentle questioning would not obtain a response. Heartbeat rate rose, slight waves of doubt arose and the head began to throb. There was no definite symptoms of rejections for hands were still held as I walked her to my house bus stop. Despite repeated attempts to coax an answer out of her, the firm reply was, "Nothing."

An sms beeped on my mobile enquiring if I had slept, my usual reply "Sleepin soon, you sleep soon k?" A call followed and few more enquiries followed asking if I had faithfully followed my medication, a slow smile played on my lips as I was savouring the sweetness which was still tantalising my soul.

"I want you to know that I didn't feel worried that you were sick. I would have taken care of you as the same even if you had been a good friend. I just didn't want you to feel too happy."

Words. Words. Words. Paradise. Then a step short.

A step short.