Flutters

Gazed into your eyes
the intense expression
Twinkling sparkling
smiling back at me

Aura of warmth
rekindles the dormant passion
once ravaged
by wounds and scars

A Word of concern
A Waltz on the beach
A night of Star-gazing
A bus trip of chattering

I wanna take you on a trip
of discovery
About all the things
I can do to make you happy

Everytime I recall your name
A smile plays
around the the corner of my lips
and the heart flutters within

My hand is outstretched
and when you clasp it
You complete me


Just to quote something from Ella Fitzgerald :

"I guess what everyone wants more than anything else is to be loved.. Forgive me if I don't have all the words. Maybe I can sing it and you'll understand."

Terpsichore

The Concert has successfully ended its 2 day run of performances.

Back to daily routines of work, studies and physical trainings. Of handling Customer Complaints and crunching textbook readings. Of squeezing every last drop of perspiration from my forehead and body in response to the gruelling floor exercises during physical conditionings in our dance training sessions.

When I stood facing the empty stage after everyone has packed and moved out, the lights were dim and everything was enshrouded in heavy silence - I pictured myself amongst the audience sitting down and giving thunderous applause to a performance well done. A hypothetical image.

When I picture myself as the audience and the virtual image of my "dancer self" image being projected onto the stage floor, I sensed a stirring. A thought that flashed in my mind screaming "Well done! That was so beautiful!" And I realised why stage performers are revelled by others is due to the reason that they embodied the "unattainable state" that normal people would never achieve. Idol Worship. Like you yearn after something which you can't have. The Apple in the Garden of Eden.

And Stage Performers always tend to possess a slight characteristic of exhibitionism no matter how slight. It's like an aphrodisiac.

As you look beyond the spotlights and peer onto the floor audience and beyond, a sense of accomplishment becomes so strong for the level of success is often measured on a decibel scale of applause. The more thunderous the applause the more successful it is deemed to be.

For myself, it was a feeling of slight accomplishment. That I have pulled off my first major performance successfully. The waltz.. The Lyrical Jazz.. the emotions. Yes I had a dance friend who divulged to me that when the performance ended and the curtain called she was almost feeling emotional.

I guess I would be hooked onto this aphrodisiaic for quite a while.




This piece of dance chereography was the highlight of the Dance Concert and I never got bored of watching them dance, no matter how many times I've seen it.

Name of Chereography - Lavender Dreams
Song Title = Memories [Korean Song]

Materialism and Superstition

The 3rd Day of the Chinese New Year.

Most unmarried people would have received ang baos of a substantial amount by this day since the first 2 days of Chinese New Year would be days where massive gatherings are co-ordinated.

Unfortunately, materialism rears it's ugly head in a particular gathering in my very house.

As I mentioned earlier, my second brother's father-in-law passed away recently and thus by traditional practice he cannot be allowed to disburse red packets or partake in any merrymaking as a mark of respect for the deceased elder. Like a continous period of mourning.

But out of respect for my mother's wish that she wants to see her 3 sons gathered in her house for a sumptuous Chinese New Year Lunch, he 'bended' the rules slightly and gathered for the feast on 9th February 2005. Surprised was I when I learnt that my eldest sis-in-law was very superstitious thus my mother kept the secret of my brother's mourning from her, for fear she [sis-in-law] would give excuses and not attend the gathering which would effectively prevent the reunion of her sons.

Unfortunately, my eldest sis-in-law was quering why my 2nd brother did not give any ang baos when he was at the gathering. Faced with no choice, she broke the news gently to my eldest sis-in-law and offered lots of explanations in not telling her earlier.

The pleas fell on deaf ears.

Swift was the reaction for her tummy felt uncomfortable and requested my eldest brother to send her home, I gather that my eldest brother is still kept in the dark. Slight guilt was shown on my 2nd brother's expression. Guilt? The only guilt I would credit him with is his unconventional perceptions to traditions usually overridden by his love for my mother. My father however was slightly fuming because his time with his beloved grand-daughter had been cut short.

Does superstition play an important role in a person's way of life to such an extent that it overrides their logical thinking? I shudder to imagine that such behavior is still evident considering that she's a teacher and well-educated with honors from the National University of Singapore [NUS]. It saddens me more to witness my parents subjecting to unhappiness when all they wished for is a simple reunion of their children at Chinese New Year, a festive season deemed omnipotent amongst the traditions of Chinese. If I were to step in and inform my eldest brother about the truth and request him to stay despite his wife's superstitions would it result in disharmony for their marriage? Statistically I would have made 3 people [my parents and second brother] happier but I would have made a couple very unhappy. Brother & wife versus parents & brother.

My second brother left shortly after.

My mother teared after they left while my father was repeatedly muttering curses under his breath. Consolation was offered to my mother while I simply advised my Dad to stay by my mum's side and ensured she keeps her mind occupied with other upcoming visitations. Other visits that followed queried gently why both my brothers are absent which I respectfully explained my second brother's mourning period and eldest brother's untimely visiting of in-laws.

All peppered with lots of smiles.




Full Run Rehearsals tonight, whole of Saturday and Sunday Morning as well. Tuesday would be Full Dress Concert Venue Rehearsal from 9am till 10pm. Monday [14th Feb] on standby for rehearsals as well. SiGh.

Red Reminisces

Taxi Driver : Wah, young man today still working ah?
Me Myself & I : Yes, my company is still on half-day today.

Taxi Driver : Aiyoh, then got buy Toto or 4D for this New Year?
Me Myself & I : No, I have never bought them in my life before.

Taxi Driver : Sure or not?? Football betting? mahjong? Card games?
Me Myself & I : Nope but during festive seasons I would just play cards for fun.

Taxi Driver : You endangered species liao.
Me Myself & I : I will be very soon if you do not keep your eyes on the road.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



The Red season is here again - Red Packets, red clothes, red notes and red faces [from all the drinking that is]

Had a BIG spring cleaning last night till about 1am. I was basically cleaning up two rooms - My Bedroom and the Study Room [credits to my mum who insisted this is how the rooms should be called].

Well, I've been holding this double task ever since my brothers moved out after getting married. Not that I'm blaming them for my plight [Look, I'm only cleaning two rooms while they're probably cleaning a whole house]. Just that this year's spring cleaning process was slightly more sombre.

Maybe it's because the whole house suddenly seemed more spacious.

Maybe it's because there was less laughter and boisterous fun while attempting to throw stuff at one another while trying to decide which old stuff to keep and which old stuff to throw.

Came across quite a lot of old textbooks and actually discovered some old photos tucked away. Of friends that had been with my side for years, of looking at the photos and remembering the good times we shared. Of remembering the bickerings that seemed so pointless now, wishing instead there were more times when I could have punched him on the shoulder more often which we always do in JC times.

Till the SQ006 crash took him away from me.

Also took some time to re-arrange my photo album and realised I hardly have any new photos to put into the album. Most pictures are done by digital cameras nowadays and saved via jpg files into my PC. Photo albums had been replaced by online photo albums.

Looking at the photo album however induced deep nostalgia and by impulse I called up an old JC classmate, she was surprised to hear from me but very excited at the same time. Half teasing and half scolding that I only bothered to call when she's getting married by September this year. Came as a surprise to me instead.

And a further surprise that it's another guy not the boyfriend she had in JC whom I knew as a friend as well. Ah well, guilty of not contacting her for the past 2 years I am.

She was gushing over her marriage plans and was already half hinting about her possible honeymoon destinations which brought a faint smile to my lips - She's sweetly in love.

And Valentine Day's is just next Monday.

Could have sworn my brain is almost operating like a mind map, topics will link to related topics and the information simply comes pouring out. Too dependent on memory techniques I guess.

Several news have arrived as well inclusive of my second brother's father-in-law passing away, my guy cousin's child stricken with hand-foot-mouth disease, my gal cousin's child is being warded for some initial cancerous stage thing I'm half inclined to believe this would not be a good year to celebrate.

And my godsister is still recovering from her tsunami horror, not too inclined to travel outside as well.

What I felt more lightened is by the fact is the entire dance group coming to my house this saturday for visitation, hopefully their noise would bring cheer to my parents as well.

I'm crossing my fingers.



I just hope my mother does not faint from seeing the house get overcrowded.

MTV

"Hey Mom, I can see her boobs."

Does this phrase raise an eyebrow? Not anymore. Recent studies have shown that children who are exposed to MTV have more liberal views towards premarital sex. In fact, the supposed conclusion is kids who are exposed to MTV watches up to 9 sexual scenes an hour.

The link to an article which collaborated studies relating to the programme content of MTV Networks can be found on the title of this post.

Think - Micheal Jackson with his famous crotch-grabbing stance on MTV Awards performance and you should have an idea of what I'm referring to.

This is an excerpt from the article, in relation to the band Maroon 5 whose songs had been hitting lots of radio airwaves ranging from "This Love" to "Sunday Morning"

Maroon 5 – “This Love”

Intercut with the band playing, we see flashes of the lead singer and a girl presumably having sex. They kiss, rolling around on the bed, and he runs his hand down her thigh. It appears that they are naked, but no body parts are seen. (These scenes are only a few seconds long, and are interspersed with the band playing.)


Next scene, the girl is sitting on a bed. The lead singer tries to kiss her and she pushes him away. He sits on the bed and she puts her legs around him, and pulls him backwards. He gets up and leaves. She is left sitting on the bed with her legs splayed, wearing some sort of corset.


Next scene, the singer and the girl are making out on the bed. Flower petals swirl around the scene, covering their nudity (these were added after the Janet Jackson debacle, so they look like they don't belong). The guy looks up at the screen and says to the camera "Keep her [bleeped ‘cuming’] every night," but this was done post-production, so the edit is really obvious, with background music removed as well.


They passionately kiss and roll around, with the flower petals swirling around everything except their faces.


We see the singer run his hand down the girl's leg again.


The lead singer and woman are shown again rolling around on a bed, but the flower petals are scrolling around them on screen so you can still only see their faces.



And I was still thinking that Britney's "Toxic" MTV was bad enough. Ah well, Wade Robson rules.



A fitting end to all who dare to violate the minds of innocents.

Of Customs and Education

A recent article splashed across the Straits Times have caught my attention - The reduction of the Chinese Syllabus.

Apparently the education system in Singapore is reassessing certain topics and these parts of the traditional syllabus had been deemed as unimportant for the students in Singapore. Without a doubt there must be a huge cheer erupting from students who are facing huge problems with the Chinese Language.

Think again.

What the Education System has only approved is the reduction of the syllabus to be taught in schools. Meaning that the teachers would have to source out the additional parts themselves - because it might still be tested in exams. In addition, the removal of this portion called "Ting Xie" [pardon me for this is a direct chinese sounding term translated into english words - a more direct translation of meanings would perhaps result in it being called listening and writing?]

My mother was vehemently against the idea. She was a chinese teacher.

Her explanation to me was students would not be able to effective utilise the words if they are simply taught to recognise words and not trained to remember them. Think along the scenario - Do all people who can read and recognise english know how to write them properly? Perhaps the current notion is no longer the strict requirement of how each stroke should be written but if "monkey see monkey do" works for duplicating the chinese letter then the language is considered as taught successfully.

The second exclusion was the study of Chinese Customs and Marriage for the education system deemed such topics as irrelevant to the current social life system in Singapore. To what extent can we possibly judge what is relevant to the social system in Singapore? Actual incidents in Singapore? Why then are we not including actual Singaporeans who might have made an impact on the Chinese Education or Chinese Arts Scene in Singapore?

Reminds me of the sudden fame attributed to Douglas O and Dick Lee after the launch of Singapore Idol.

Therefore, comes this distinct question - If the removed portion of chinese syllabus is approved because it had been deemed too difficult and perhaps irrelevant by the Singapore Education System, why is it still possible that exam questions would be tested on those portions?

Teach Less? As true as serving a 44 hour week amongst civil servants despite the announcement of the 5-day week and the opening of counters despite it's a saturday.

As true as promising help for the elderly and the children and leaving the middle class to fend for themselves when they are the actual breadwinners.

As true as reinforcing the cultural aspects of multi-racial harmony when the emphasis fell on Chinese, Indians and Malays while the Eurasians categorised under 'others' were not mentioned.

As true as citing Singapore as a Patriarchal Society which effectively categorises Singapore as a gender-based society while promising rewards and opportunities being based on meritocracy.

Learn more? The bulk of the responsibility falls therefore on the teachers. If the teacher, on top of handling at least one School Curriculum Activity and countless meetings and projects for job-process re-engineering and part-time school liaison protocol officer, does not seem like an easier task altogether.

Singapore Teachers - I offer an advance extra salute to the future challenges heading your way.



This should deter most people from tailgating your car.