Thursday, December 30, 2004

Musings


Sincere apologies to some of my friends who wondered why I have not updated my posts for some time and to others who did not receive any Christmas well-wishes from me a deep bow of apology as well. Been really really packed with dance matters and my workload because my workload @ the office really reaches an insane level from the months of December till March/April.

Just to keep you fellas updated, I have recently joined a dance group mainly specialising in lyrical jazz but through the trainer [or Artistic Director] I actually learnt the basics of latin, salsa, cha-cha, rumba, jive and rock & roll in the process. Now I'm really beginning to feel rather afraid because the sudden boom of knowledge about the world of dance is so huge it is impossible to even sit down and start to wonder where you should start.

Just a little note - I'm typing this post as I recall my thoughts so do not expect any chronological order or sequence.

Been practising for an upcoming concert in Mid-Feb @ the University Cultural Centre. Lots of co-ordination, meetings, practises, conditioning and stretching. Basically I've been spending almost the whole past 2 weeks @ different studios for trainings and rehearsals. Battling flu in the process and nursing a slight cough as well, I just hope I'll be well enough for Brandon's party on friday night.

Watched a slew of movies recently - well apparently I hang out with the dance group after practises as well [they're more like a big family which is very appealing to me and I am very glad that they have been willing to accept me as part of their family].

Once I asked the AD why he would ask me to be part of the group - He simply shrugged his shoulders and replied nonchalantly,"I notice people for their fiery passion and their willingness to push themselves beyond their normal limits. I'm not looking for what you can offer me, I'm looking for people who can constantly surprise me."

Christmas has not been exactly meaningful for me because the gathering was so "chereographed" it simply looked like an mass assemble of dancers twirling their way around each other with faces downcast in a demure manner. The occasional smile pops up every now and then but no conversations. Perhaps it was simply due to my plastic expression that shouts,"Hi! I'm pleased to meet you! Now leave me alone."

Right - about the movies I've watched. Kungfu Hustle by Stephen Chow! It was nonsensical [or mo lei tou as a direct translation from cantonese] and absolutely exaggerated with some spoofs from the Matrix Trilogy.



But I enjoyed it.

Blogs and newspapers have been rife with reports about the Tsunami disaster. My mobile has almost exploded from the surge of relaying short messages about the available relief centres for rendering donations. While I am glad that I have such caring friends who would not hesitate to offer an extra helping hand, I cannot share in their sentiments for I am feeling somehow detached from all these.

A sudden random recollection that I have read from a short story written by Ms Beautifuk. In her story a part of it which I recall is about people being forced to unite under critical situations. Is this the kind of situation she was referring to? That it takes disasters to unite people? Translate this situation from an alternate perspective and we can actually believe that harmony actually divides people. People who get too contented with everything becomes selfish and when conflict of interests occurs people get divided. How ironic.

And lest you people think Singaporeans are selfish by nature - despite all the charity shows and projects milking Singaporeans for all they are worth - this
would surprise you.

You know what amuses me at times? The fact that we are so willingly to contribute money to the charity shows and projects and people all around are ranting and raving about how they do not have money for this and that. Here's a little trivia for you - For every $5 you contribute to a XXX Charity Show, $2 goes to the respective Agency or Corporation hosting the event and $1 goes to other foreign entertainers recruited for the glitzy event. Only $2 thus is actually contributed to the actual Charity cause which I'm still not sure how is taken from the actual staff running the Charity Organisation. Think you're really donating a lot to the needy people? Why dont you save a portion of it and donate the rest directly to the needy by getting them food vouchers and some small gifts. Oh, volunteer your services for their daily needs at times. I'm sure that goes a long long way.

Just don't come to me and tell me you're doing good for the society because you have donated a substantial amount of money. I'll bite your head off.

Flu is getting worse, losing my voice. My clients are not being totally understanding either.

Ah well, back to work.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Anger Management


What is Anger?

Ever wondered what it feels like to be letting your anger loose? According to Diane Schilling* Repressing anger - keeping it bottled up inside - can cause headaches, back pain, nausea, or other symptoms. However, using 'letting it out' theory as a licence to get angry is just as dangerous and lead to repercussions like Coronary Heart Disease and sudden death.

Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

*Dianne Schilling is a San Diego-based writer, editor and instructional designer who specializes in the development of educational publications and customized training programs for business and industry. She is a founding partner in womensmedia.com.



Is it due to Hormones?

Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Bantam,1995) reasons that threats to life, security, and self-esteem trigger a two-part limbic surge: First, hormones called catecholamines are released, generating a rush of energy that lasts for minutes. Second, an adrenocortical arousal is created that can put you on edge and keep you there for hours, sometimes days. This explains why you are more likely to erupt in anger over something relatively innocuous if the incident is preceded by an earlier upsetting experience. Though the two events may be completely unrelated, the anger generated by the second incident builds on the anger left over from the first.

It means people who can't 'let go' of the anger generated from an earlier incident is more likely to erupt over any incident - even small ones - happening at a later stage.

On an additional note, genes can play a small factor of influence where babies can be born more easily irritable than others and these signs are usually present from a very early age.


What about social culture?

Certain tribal cultures advocate anger not necessarily as a form of behavior but rather as a tool for survival. Ironically, a competitive society is more prone to encouraging subconcious forms of anger even despite literature and music being prominent forms of culture. Subconsiously, angry people demand things. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires.

For your information - Singapore is a very competitive society, derive your own conclusions.


What types of angry people are there?

The Sulker
They pout, refuse to speak & lock themselves in their office. Everyone wastes time and energy tiptoeing around them until they snap out of it. They expect colleagues to pamper their wounded egos and coax them back into a cheerful mood. The problem is that employees get tired of this game and end up viewing the them as a little kid who doesn't deserve their respect.

The Bully
He will embarrass you in public and then accuse you of having thin skin. If you tick him/her off, he/she will punish you with a nasty project or a poor review. These intimidation tactics work on some people but not for long.

The Victim
"How could my colleagues be so ungrateful after everything I’ve done for them? After all, I bought them all turkeys for Christmas, made them coffee when they ask…" This colelague expects rewards and praises because of the "sacrifices" he or she makes for them. The problem is that they attempt to manipulate with motherly guilt and it usually backfires. Following that they might revert to either The Bully or The Sulker[see above]

The Screamer
As the curses fly and doors slam, employees scurry to their cubicles and duck out of sight. Once the dust settles, the Screamer feels much better but unfortunately, everyone else feels worse. These stress carriers pass their stress on to others in ways they would never do to their bosses. "Oh, I just lose my cool," they explain. "It’s no big deal." The problem is that it is a big deal and it has a nasty physiological and psychological affect on everyone around them.

The Sarcastic Stabber
As the tension mounts, the barbs get nastier. Stomachs twist and everyone wants to slink under the desk when the sarcasm starts flying. These insults can be faster than a speeding bullet and just as deadly. The problem is that no one wants to make a mistake that will put him or her in the line of fire. So, rather than improve mistakes, people get so nervous they tend to make more of them…or hide them from view and hope for the best.

The Hulk
When this guy gets mad you’d better duck. Papers fly, waste baskets are kicked across the room and fists are slammed on the table. Not only is this scary behavior, it’s counterproductive. No one can think straight for hours and, rational or not, people will fear that this temper could be turned on them. No one will remember what he was angry about, but they surely will remember the vivid visual display for months to come.

The Blamer
They think the only solution to a problem is to hunt down the guilty party and make sure they never do it again. The problem is that blame is a misguided notion. People don’t get up in the morning and say, "I think I’ll make a couple of mistakes today." Mistakes are usually caused by lack of information coupled with good intentions. Blame achieves nothing except to damper the person with the good intentions making them thinks twice about wanting to do similar actions in future.


What are some ways to handle anger then?

Joan Lloyd` uses a theory called the duck paddle. Even when you’re paddling like hell underneath, you need to stay unruffled on the surface. Focus on the problem and direct your energy toward a solution. Take out your anger at the gym, not on those around you. On a personal note, I channel my stress accumulated at work as energy to dance away at my studio. Trust me, it works wonders.


`Joan Lloyd's firm, Joan Lloyd & Associates, specializes in leadership development, organizational change and teambuilding. This includes executive coaching, 360-degree feedback processes, customized leadership training, conflict resolution between teams or individuals, internal consulting skills training for HR professionals and retreat facilitation.

Joan Lloyd has earned her C.S.P. (Certified Speaking Professional) designation from the National Speakers Association and speaks to corporate audiences, as well as trade & professional associations across the country. She is also the author of The Career Decisions Planner -- When to Move, When to Stay, When to Go Out on Your Own (John Wiley & Sons, New York), and many other booklets and audio and video programs now in use by some of the best-known companies in America.



Relaxation

The American Psychological Association credits simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, to help calm angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.


Some simple steps you can try:

Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."

Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.


Communication Restructing

Anger usually involves negative forms of expression so you can actually learn to use more positive words like "I'll give it a try" instead of just saying "No I don't think I can do this." Angry people are especially prone to exaggerated and over dramatic gestures or thoughts so it is important to either give yourself 10-15 seconds to stop still and rationalise or seek another person who can use a neutral perspective to rationalise things out as well.


Laughter is the best medicine

Humour can be a very effective way to defuse building amounts of anger. A colleague of mine once tried this method - When she feels angry she goes to the skating rink near her residence and simply giggles at people attempting to skate. Now this is may not be the best method but simply staying there for about 20 minutes either giggling at people who are new to skating or even admiring the graceful skaters helped her to rationalise better. Not sure if the cold temperature helped though.


Changing Your Environment

Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. For myself, when the stress at work gets unbearable at times I simply take a very light lunch of salad and fruits and get a short nap of 40-50 minutes instead. Then awaken to wash my face throughly, it helps as well.



One last note - Anger can never be eliminated but it can be tackled and controlled within your own limits. Often we get angry for causes we want to feel justified about but we often neglect the purpose we start out to accomplish in the first place. Anger often replaces irrational thoughts with rational ones namely impatience, stubborness and impulsiveness/recklessness. If the problem is in your face directly just take one or two steps back to look at how high the wall is. If it beyond your jumping height then seek help like look for a chair to stand on or even see if there's some way to go around the wall instead of just attempting to climb right over it.


Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Confessions


Be warned - long post.



Did a little shopping yesterday evening which I believed I should stop myself very soon. The amount of shopping I'm doing this Christmas is horrifying me, yes I'm becoming a victim of commodity fetishism [See my previous post].

Just as a summary I recollect what items I have bought so far:
1. A pair of red Addidas track pants [newest arrival]
2. An Addidas white T-shirt [Yes I'm an Addidas fan]
3. A black sleeveless T-shirt with orange stripes at the side.
4. A new pair of vintage Addidas canvas shoes [metal superstar model]
5. A long sleeve round-neck Addias T-shirt with a hood
6. A Navy Blue Addidas Sweat Shirt [See what I mean about me being a fan?]
7. A new bag which I have no idea what brand it's called.
8. A new pair of jazz sneakers.
9. A new solid dark-grey working class shirt.
10. A new pair of beach slippers [veryyy comfortable]
11. A 2nd hand slim Creative MP3 Player
12. A new set of retractable headphones to go along with the MP3 Player.
13. A new T-shirt [red with white sleeves.. kinda National Day style]
14. A box of Christmas Cards [18 cards]

I shall not delve into detail what I plan to give to my family, I shall however think carefully about the purpose of the gift I'm giving to them, which in this case leaves me with only effectively 2 days to think and shop. Not a very comfortable timing I have given myself.

Last night after I did my final shopping for myself [I hope], I accompanied my parents to church for Penetential Services. During the church service the priest was reading the story of the prodigal son. Basically this wealthy businessman had 2 sons, the elder was hardworking and never asked the father for any reward. The younger son however was restless and wanted to see the world.

So he went to his father and took half the property. However, he fell to temptations and squandered it recklessly until he was forced to live with the pigs and share their feed. He was remorseful and went home to seek the father's forgiveness.

When he reached home, the father came out to welcome him. Not a single word of reproach but donned the finest robe on his shoulders; sandals on his feet and a ring on his finger. Even killed the prized calf to throw a feast.

The elder son, upon knowing about the festivity was so angry he stood outside the house and refused to be part of it. When the father came out to ask why he replied,"Father, all these years I have worked hard and never complained nor asked for anything. Yet you have never even gave me a goat for me to celebrate with my friends. This spendthrift squandered half your property away and now you killed his the prized calf to celebrate his homecoming?"

To this the father replied,"He was dead and now is alive, he was lost and now is found. Your brother has come home."

The priest explained that sandals on the feet symbolised a free because slaves usually walked around bare-footed. The ring on the finger symbolised the status of an upper-class family and the robes around the shoulders symbolised the love and tender care that the father is bestowing on the son.



When it came to my turn for confession I simply told the priest," I am the prodigal son." Not surprisingly, the priest went silent for a while. Guess he was not expecting this answer.

He asked me,"Do you know what your obligations as a Catholic?"

I replied I didn't know. I told him that I pray alone, I do not like mass congregations praying together. He became even more baffled. At this point he seemed to become impatient and simply gave me some advice to find out about the obligations of a Catholic and blessed me.

I guessed even priests have schedules to meet. No matter, didn't make much difference anyway whether I really attended the services or not.


Which led me to a suddent interest - What was religion like before Christ? Sacrificial rites or just simple prayer rituals? Were there certain taboos observed? What was the hiearchy like?

Something new to discover, I should really study the Da Vinci Code in depth. It's time to put my faith to the test.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Commodity Fetishism

Got a little tip from some comments offered via a young lady's blog. For lady clubbers you could have experienced some form of molestation in the past like some guy grinding himself against you on the dance floor or a quick slap on the butt as you walk past a certain crowd.

Here's the tip - When you walk, place one palm across the front of your chest and the other across your butt. The logic is if any closet perv tries something funny your hand will be the first thing he comes into contact with. Prevents the actual molestation in addition you get to identify the potential molester following which your friends can proceed to wallop the shit out of that bastard - with the bouncers' help of course.


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Yes once again it's the festive season of the year - for the major shoppers anyway. Christmas. Brings to mind fine dining, christmas shopping, parties and getaways. Sounds good?

Exactly the traps of Commodity Fetishism.

Commodity fetishism is a false impression of society said to arise in complex capitalist market systems. Layman terms - When you are living in a pretty advance free market country, you tend to use materials to 'measure' what makes the society.

Example - In Singapore, your worth tends to be measured in terms of the car you drive, the house you live in, the places you go for holidays, the food you eat and even the kind of company you work in. All these indicators are used for a specific measure, the measure of your spending power. The more spending power you possess the greater your influence and level of comforts.

Fine Dining [expense], Shopping [Expense], Parties [Expense], Getaways [Expense]. Do you see the link?

Now as a further clarification I do not object to people spending a little more on fine dining, but fine dining does not specifically mean posh restaurants and hotel dinings decked out in your latest Hugo Boss suits or Versace evening gown. Fine dining can simply mean settling down in a cosy place with the food that makes you comfortable and appetising. If you enter a posh restaurant but you're not sure how to enjoy the food, would that not be worth the experience? Of course, if your dinner partner is familiar with the dining venue or the staff perhaps some awkardness can be avoided. I dare to advocate that a dinner at some simple cafe would be just as nice provided that you and your dinner partner can be seated comfortably, dinner is served promptly with friendly staff and of course, constant interaction of conversation.

Shopping, parties, getaways.. why does the word advertisements come to mind? Promotions, discounts, clearance sales, warehouse sales, christmas special offers, exhibitions and so many more.

Now a little more explanation on Commodity Fetishism - In most subsequent Marxist thoughts, commodity fetishism is defined as an illusion arising from the central role that private property plays in capitalism's social processes. It is a central component of the dominant ideology in capitalist societies.

Layman's terms - The bigger your house, the more respect people tend to give. Are some of your people nodding your heads or smiling in a subconcious agreement? Of course some others would offer me the alternative of protests like "No! I would judge the person based on their character."

Hello, I'm talking about ideologies here. I-D-E-A-S. What is the first idea that forms in your mind when you look at the person's residential property? "Wow, damn this guy/gal must be pretty well-off." The Singapore Society has always been a paper chase for meritocracy, not surprised that materialism is often linked together.

Another main point I'm advocating here is the emphasis on the purpose of spending rather than the quality of spending. Advertisements scream the notion of "value for money!" into your face but they often fail to substantiate one simple notion - What is the purpose of you spending this amount of money?

Do you buy new clothes simply because they are on sale? That you would like to be decked out in new clothes to celebrate Christmas? That you have just received your year-end bonus and you would like to pamper yourself a little bit more? How about looking around you and wondering if any of your friends need that extra smile or helping hand? Before anyone starts groaning "Not another charity supporter" I must emphasise this point - I'm not asking you to donate to charity. I'm asking you to take a GOOD LOOK around yourself and see if any friends are feeling just a tad lonely for christmas and invite them for dinner or even just a simple coffee session. I'm asking you guys to promote the Good Cheer and friendship. Start with your family members and friends before you start giving all that necessary warmth to some stranger who might even have to fake a smile so that it would seem 'gracious' for your help offered. Offer your goodwill to the people around you first, at least I'm sure you people would have a better of what gifts or aid can mean much more to the people that you know rather than to some complete stranger who might not appreciate what you have done.

I'm almost sounding like a potential scrooge. So be it, if it makes the people around me happier.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Rage against Technology

You have to admit the measures inititated by social scientists really amazes us at times, the following is an excerpt from an article [Link can be found on Page Title] which apparently helps us to resolve our frustrations in a more erm, economical way for this festive season.




Computer Rage - How Not To Destroy Your New High-Tech Gifts
By Neil Tickner
University of Maryland

To help keep these new gifts intact, Norman recommends that users find unconventional ways to let off some steam on old computer equipment, such as barbequing a computer mouse, cleaning a computer in a carwash or chopping a keyboard in half.

"When people sink three grand into a new plasma TV and something goes wrong, sometimes a killer instinct takes over," says Norman. "The anger may simply boil over when your spouse says, 'you spent all that money and now you can't get it to work?' That's when you've got to make sure people or the expensive equipment don't get hurt."


And to think we always called machines cruel and brutal and violent as well.

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Anyone watched Celebrity Death Match recently? It's been showing on Mondays and Tuesdays nights on Arts Central at 10pm.



The recent deathmatch featured Eddie Murphy vs Nick Nolte titled "Yet Another 48 Hours" which cracked me up quite a bit. Macaulay Culkin vs Haley Joel Osmont was good as well but Courtney Love vs David Grohl and erm.. cant remember the his partner.. That was truly gory enough to match the movie "Saw"

Violent Tendencies on my part? Nah.. I'll just crush an ant with my pinkie, that's the furthest I'll go.


Monday, December 13, 2004

Shamed

Past few days of the previous week had been madness, it was like Synergy Dance Camp + work overloads + Friday Dinner & Dance preparations + Saturday Dance Auditions all rolled into one big mess.

Helped out some good friends for their Dance Camp and while I say it had been pretty tiring for me, the fun and learning experiences had been totally priceless. Within those few days [including the chereo theory workshop I attended] I learnt about the aspects of maximising 'space' allocated on the dance stage. I learnt about the fundamentals of jazz preparations, the posse, the pas de bouree, lots of french terms which I'm still pretty fuddled about. I learnt about the core elements of social dance and how it specialised into the modern ballroom dance it is today which most people tend to relate it simply to ballroom tango and involving old aunties and uncles waltzing to slow music. Latin, Cuban, Salsa and Latin Cha-Cha are all ballroom dances as well or social dances to more exact.

A little note - Why it is considered social is because the steps are not funky or highly-charged energetic steps like Hiphop or Street Jazz but simply fast-paced turns and hip variations. And a lot of signal communcations. When I refer to signals they are hand and body signals, a simply flick of the hand on your partners can signal a turn, a push of on the flat of the palm can signal you're giving your partner room so you might be able to do a turn around her or she can twirl around you. Lots of signals to interpret within seconds so the "socialising" is extremely important. But for Hiphop and Street Jazz you can simply perform a one-man show or just co-ordinate movements as a group. Practise and self-styling is more important than actual socialising thats why such dances can be easily chereographed and practised as long as the group has sufficient time for lots of practise runs, despite group members not really liking each other. Not so for social dances.

Unconciously I began to devote lots of time into the Synergy Dance Camp and when I realised it was already Saturday and I had only slightly more than an hour to piece together the chereography I had created in between pockets of time during the Dance Camp. Together with the accumulation of factors like only 2 hours of sleep on Friday night, getting caught in the rain on my way to the audition, got the wrong address rushed to the correct address in the rain [again], half-drenched and cold and rushed through the registrations with only 10 minutes left, could not find a suitable spot to practise my chereography the last time, auditorium studio played the wrong song crashed together in a whirlwind of confusion and finally.. my nerves snapped. I froze during the initial stages of the chereography and my mind went completely blank. It was like an extremely horrible feeling where the the music played on and you stood there facing the judges' shock and puzzlement at you, for a dancer must never forget their own chereography. It's almost.... disgraceful.

What made it worse was the main judge was our very own HC [Uncle Pat] and he was very pissed off with me, all the attention and good expectations crashed when I screwed it up for my first formal audition. Words of criticisms with stinging truths and tips on how to prepare for a proper auditions only served to ehance the shame that was building up inside me. Felt like I had really disappointed him after the times he had helped to build up my style and sharpness and this mockery of a performance was what I could offer him in front of other judges. Was close to tearing after I left the auditiorium. Yes, I should have given more respect and priority to this auditiorium. So, if ever a next chance comes along, I wiLL make him proud.

Felt really really down so I dropped an SMS to some friends asking what they were doing at the moment. 'Eel' was the first to respond so I met up with her to accompany her to collect her tickets for a trip to Genting yesterday via some unknown company situated at Golden Mile Complex, the entire building and its tenants looked like a cut-out scene from any Shopping Centre in Thailand. Yes, sometimes just doing the simple can make you feel really happy. We simply met up for dinner, collected the travel tickets, chatted, walked and enjoyed the evening breeze but.. it was heavenly. We even talked about planning future group holiday trips with the rest of the group members if possible. And I'm looking forward to it already, not to mention we both discovered an interest in salsa and Latin after the dance camp.

Met up with Dan & Marie for some chill out in the later part of the night and we shared a bottle of red wine and chatted till late in a cafe with a beautiful lake view. Almost therapeutic.

Yes, I'm still relatively glad this weekend had ended on a better note. I just wish I could have 48 hours a day. So many things to do, so little time.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Passion of Life


A young lady [presumably a freshie in terms of dance background] was practising pirouttes [turns] with us.

We were still in the initial stages of basic turns when the next thing I heard was *plop plop* sounds of soft substances falling onto the studio floor.

Yes indeed, our young lady has just puked.

The trainer was shocked momentarily because never in his life had he seen a dance trainee puked just from doing basic turns.

Never had I either.

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Current Physical Condition - 70 year old suffering from osteoarthritis or more commonly known as degenerative arthritis

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Read a
blog from a lady named Grace Chow who is suffering from terminal illness termed chordoma tumour found at the base of her skull.

Background - Chordomas are tumors originating from embryonic remnants of the primitive notochord. Since chordomas lie in bone, they are usually extradural and induce bone destruction. [Paule Peretti, MD,Assistant Professor, Department of Neuroradiology, Timone Hospital of Marseilles, France]

Frequency - Chordomas are rare tumors with an estimated incidence of 0.51 cases per million. Even more rare for patients younger than 30 years. Grace was 29 when she was diagnosed with the disease.


Now I'm not going to delve too much into her condition, if you wish to know more about her you can get her book which is her legacy at her
website.


What touched me was her courage in accepting death for what it is, please allow me to quote something from her blog,

"Learning to live should also mean that you learn to die,
that you assume absolute mortality as the basis,
and learn to accept it,
without expectation of salvation,
hope for recovery,
or delivery for yourself or for another.
The classical philosophical exhortation since Plato:
to philosophise is to learn to die"


Jacques Derrida - French Philosopher


What disturbed me though, is the fact that most people get inspired only when they are faced with major trials and tribulations.

Have we become so besotted with our mundane activities of work, wine & women [or weenie for women viewers, whatever] that nothing inspires the passion in our lives anymore?

Are we no different from the hibernation of six feet under?

Robin Williams once quoted 'Carpe Diem!' in the movie Dead Poets Society and that phrase has been so deeply imprinted in me that till today I live my life with a rentless passion that simply ignores the possible fatigue which plagues my constant whining body.

I would rather have the words "A man of passion whose demise lies determined by the level of fatigue which timed his final rest" inscribed onto my concrete epilogue.

I believe Grace was having the exact same thoughts.

But what determines the difference between a person of passion and one who simply lives through the day like there is no tomorrow? For what so numbs the mind that is capable of wondrous music that charms fairies, build airborne wonders and connects information via electronic signals that makes the world shrink in virtual distances?

Is it the repitition of exact movements? Is it the self-limiting perspective one stands by irregardless of the possible ecstacy one might experience? Or is it simply an extinguished flame of desire for all matters of knowledge - technical or academic otherwise?

Or is it simply a refusal to experience come what may for fear that with happiness, comes pain & suffering & society's refusal?

Grace was feeling lonely - not in the sense she was alone physically but in the sense she was experiencing a very rare medical condition and she felt so helpless in terms of guidance, emotional sharing and physical abilities.

Would you still carry on being passionate despite knowing you might face loneliness? That you could be alone in your cause? What sets the difference between original passion and blind fanaticism?

Please excuse while I take a nap. I am too, feeling very tired.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Anticipating Changes

Got this story from my Big Boss [He's a philospher by nature so perhaps thats why I'm always impressed by his perspectives of Company Policies and Personnel Matters]

Winter is approaching so a geologist was asked to estimate how long it would take for the lake to be half frozen. He was told on the first day a small portion of the lake but on the second day the area frozen would always be twice the area of the first day. The estimated approximation was for the lake to be completely frozen within 60 days.

He estimated the lake would be half frozen on the 30th day.

He was wrong.

Come on now, tell the truth. How many of you thought of that day as the initial answer?

Ok, the real answer is on the 59th day. Can you understand the maths behind the logic? Take your time.

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Many times when we look at a situation we tend to apply what is known as "surface logic" into handling problems. A more common explanation is we offer solutions only when problems occurs or we offer solutions only based on the analysis of the problem alone.

But we have to anticipate what similar situations might be encountered and offer preventive measures as well.

I have just finished watching a Ch5 movie titled Evolution. It was crappy, the story was weak but the final scene did get me thinking. The General was offering the direct solution of using napalm explosions on the alien life form - incinerate the damn alien. David Duchnovy [the supposed hero of the story who's also a scientist] realised however by using fire however it would result in an acceleration of the evolution of the life form. The life form was held in limbo in outer space, only started evolving when it crashed onto earth. With the fire from the crash explosion initializing the starting catalyst for evolution so by using napalm it would actually ehance the evolution by unimaginable speed instead.

So the main point is - How many times have we been in the same situation as the General? So anxious to offer a 'direct solution' that we fail to see the consequences of our actions? We wanted to cut costs by restricting resources on everything but ended in staff being demoralised and productions level dropping, quality control level decreased and even distribution channels slowing down. Overall the Company actually fared much worse than the initial problem.

Sometimes in order to reach a sensible decision we should complement our bosses instead of just 'trying to be like them'

Case study - A secretary complained of her boss giving her "stress" every single day. He was full of vision but impulsive. He was a natural persuasive talker but lacked the patience to follow up on his decisions before moving on to a new decision. And the secretary while understanding his visions did not bother to advise the Boss on his lack of follow-ups resulting in the Boss often scolding her for not helping him to collate the list of business transactions done previously. The secretary however was stubborn and refused to change her ways as she feels that her initial jobscope did not specify such tasks which could have been easily done by any admin clerk thus resulting in two of them often at loggerheads.

Analysis - Obviously the two of them belong to the stubborn characters. While the Boss is an opportunist the secretary belongs to the category of "defensive by nature' perhaps. That would explain in the unwillingness of the secretary in doing all the 'little things' for her Boss.

Proposed solution - The secretary could have simply played the role of advisor. While the collating of transactions might not have been part of her jobscope, she could have raised the request of 'outsourcing' this responsibility to an admin clerk and request this admin clerk to report to her thus ensuring the request gets administered at the same giving the Boss a good impression that she understands the concept of delegation and shared effectiveness.

Possible Benefits - Documentation of the past transactions would enable a future analysis to be conducted as well for references should the Boss be unsure abt any other transactions. The Secretary should tap on this knowledge as an additional measure to understand the Boss better and perhaps even complement the Boss by reminding him about certain transactions which may have succeeded or even done better should he had been armed earlier with the past knowledge and experience he accumulated with previous clients.

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This had been a really really wonderful weekend, although extremely tiring. Continous training for Friday nites, Saturday mornings and afternoons and the whole of Sunday has resulted in me being more flexible, my techniques are polished to a higher level and I actually lost 3 kg over 2 days. Even Head Chereographer [HC] was slightly impressed by my sharpness of style shown in dance classes today, something I had not been able to achieve before. Hmmm.. I really should go for more conditioning classes. Definitely effective.

I'll be attending a one-day Dance Workshop this Wednesday - Conditioning, Theory of Chereography, Techniques and Fundamentals of Jazz. It's gonna start at 7am and ends at 11:30pm. I'll be damned.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

House of Knowledge

Ever wondered what you would do with your old books? Fret no more, this is the ultimate solution.



If you wish to view their complete gallery of photos just click on the title of my post, very ingenious indeed.


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Apparently there're quite a number of people in Canada who are very unhappy about President George Bush. Click
here for the full story.


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Singapore is whipped up with media frenzy over Singapore Idol. Hurrah. I'll be heading down to school for my weekly lectures on Marketing Brands in Asia. I just hope that the lecturer does not take 'impromptu sick leave' and be spotted the next day on camera cheering amidst the crowd at the Singapore Indoor Stadium.

Oh Valen, if you happen to browse my blog - Do leave me your URL so I can link you up. Love to hear from you.