Sunday, October 31, 2004

A Poem for Today

Cherish Today

Take each day as it comes
Life is stressful enough

Do not look back and greieve over the past
There's nothing much you can do about it

Do not worry about the future
For it has yet to come

As long as it is called today
Cherish it

Live this day as it is your last
And you will find each day worth living for



Thank you, Anne.

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Note - Do watch Ladder 49. I do not need to introduce the show with pictures and elaborations, just prepare packets of tissue. You might just need it, trust me.

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Listening to Goo Goo Dolls "Iris" over and over again.

Means anything to you? Listen to the song and figure it out for yourself.


Saturday, October 30, 2004

Snippets of Daily Life

As I am being recalled to work today [which was originally an off-day for me] I have decided to include some snippets of my daily life. For those of you who know me I'm apparently like a baby elephant with two left feet trying to dance when it comes to making people laugh. *Winks*

Note: I'm doing this by popular demand. How many of you people know about this blog that I have not told others yet??

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Yesterday I was printing reports while conversing with a client. The Hewlett-Packard [HP] technician came to my cubicle [after I called HP Helpdesk about my faulty printer 2 days ago] and proceeded to dismantle the printer while checking every single part - right before my eyes. I turned to my client -

Me: My apologies Sir, your report printout apparently will be delayed due to deprivation of technical resources. We apologise for the inconvenience caused. *Smiles*

Client: [Short Chuckle] Understood. It's the first time in my life as well that I would witness the mechanic dismantling the car for repairs while the driver is still behind the wheel.

*The technician carried on working with no response*

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After a visit to my colleague in SGH yesterday evening [she was warded for observation on potential dengue fever], I accompanied a lady colleague home and she asked me -

Lady: What is the most worst thing you can lose in life?

Me: Your mind?

Lady: *Slaps me on the shoulder* Be serious!

Me: Your pet chihuahua? [We watched Legally Blonde together before]

Lady: *Slit eyes* Argh.. Give up on you. It's hope!


Note: The above was not meant for humour - I'm still pondering over her words.

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I was having drinks with a friend of mine last night. The friendly waitress was chatting with me while I signed for the bill. After I passed the bill folder back to her, she smiled and left - with my card and receipt as well.

*Waves at her back hoping she would look back but she carried on walking*

She came 5 minutes later smiling slightly sheepish with my card & receipt.

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Well, I'm no Jim Carrey so I'm not good at dramatizing events but these news trivia might interest you somewhat -





Apparently Miss Renee Zellweger missed her bigger size titties back in her first Bridget Jones Film. She should take a look at what plastic surgery can do for her a.k.a. Movie - White Chicks. For the full story, click
here.

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The things people do to get into the Guiness Book of Records. Full story
here.

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For Lord of The Ring [LOTR] fans, you might be delighted to know there're new discoveries supporting the possiblity of an actual hobbit-like humans some 12,000 years ago. Check out the story
here.

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And of course, a little list called
List of Phobias which was contributed by Ms Beautifuk on her blog entry dated 25 Oct. You can check out her comments as well, hilarious.



List of Credits:
Ms Beautifuk - Provider of List of Phobias
- Provider of News Trivia
The Cafe Waitress - For her friendly chatter and lovely smile
My Colleague - To her thoughtful quote

Last but not least - The HP technician for his amazing lack of understanding

Friday, October 29, 2004

Ethical Issues in Psychological Research

I received this Short Messaging Service [SMS] on my Mobile from a friend -

"Bern [A lady]. Dun forget your mask.. theme is pimp & whore so come sexy.. Meet at Mohd Sultan at 8pm ."

Apparently this is her reply to me when I enquired whats the programme like for our Halloween Party this weekend.



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In all forms of psychological experiments conducted today, they would be subjected to a Code of Conduct for Ethical Principles of Psychologists which was developed by American Psychologists Association [APA]in 2002.



Ethics emerge from value conflicts. In research, these conflicts are expressed in many ways: individuals' rights to privacy versus the undesirability of manipulation, openness and replication versus confidentiality, future welfare versus immediate relief, and others. Each decision made in research involves a potential compromise of one value for another. Researchers must try to minimize risks to participants, colleagues, and society while attempting to maximize the quality of information they produce.

Research ethics are codes or guidelines that help reconcile value conflicts. Although ethical codes provide direction, the decisions made in research must be reached by considering the specific alternatives available. The choices made in each case weigh the potential contribution of the research against the potential risks to the participants. Weighing these alternatives is essentially subjective, entails matters of degree rather than kind, and involves a comparison between the experiences required in the research and those expected in everyday life.

Ethical codes in research provides responsibility to participants [subjects, clients, respondents] to colleagues, professional associations, sponsoring agencies, the public at large, or society. More discussion has been devoted to the ethics involving participants than to the ethics involving the other groups. The amount of attention given to participants derives historically from biomedical experimentation in which subjects have been exposed to serious risks and irremediable harm. The emphasis on participants in biomedical ethical codes and government regulations has been extended to all types of research. This situation has led to misunderstanding and debate because it blurs the distinctions between biomedical experimentation on human subjects and social science.

Social work researchers and other social scientists, partly because of developments in the medical sciences, have begun to address the particular ethical issues that arise in their work. Debates have taken place regarding particular studies that illustrate alternative resolutions of moral dilemmas. Key studies such as Milgram's research on obedience to authority [1963], Humphreys's research on homosexuals [1970], and the Project Camelot study by Horowitz aimed at preventing revolutions [1967] have helped clarify the issues and suggest resolutions.

- David F. Gillespie



The 3 main characteristics a Research Psychologists should take into consideration when conducting experiments are:

+ Treating participants with respect
+ Caring for the welfare of animals
+ Be scrupulously honest with data

The last characteristic was put to test when on May 16, 1997, President Clinton apologized to the survivors and families of hundreds of men used in a research project to study the progression of untreated syphilis. These men were mainly sharecroppers from Macon County, Alabama (the area surrounding Tuskegee). They were poor, African American, and had few resources available to them.

In 1932, when they were offered free medical care by physicians and researchers involved with the United States Public Health Service, they believed they had found treatment for what they had been told was "bad blood." Instead, they were enrolled in an observational research study, without their knowledge or consent.

In exchange for their participation (which included agreeing to an autopsy at death), the men received free medical examinations (primarily to provide data for the study), transportation and hot meals on the days of their examinations, and $50 for burial expenses. Even though some rudimentary remedies for syphilis were available in the early years of the study, they were not offered to these men, so that the study of the natural history of the untreated disease would not be jeopardized.

The study (the Tuskegee Study of Untreated Syphilis in the Male Negro 2) did not end until 1972, forty years after it had begun, and twenty years after penicillin had been identified as an effective treatment for syphilis.

The New York Times headline exposing the experiment read, "Syphilis victims in U.S. study went untreated for 40 years." The article revealed the details of the study and called it "the longest nontherapeutic experiment on human beings in medical history."

According to the Report of the Tuskegee Syphilis Study Legacy Committee, "In the almost 25 years since its disclosure, the Study has moved from a singular historical event to a powerful metaphor. It has come to symbolize racism in medicine, ethical misconduct in human research, paternalism by physicians, and government abuse of vulnerable people."

According to President Clinton, "The legacy of the study at Tuskegee has reached far and deep, in ways that hurt our progress and divide our nation. We cannot be one America when a whole segment of our nation has no trust in America. An apology is the first step, and we take it with a commitment to rebuild that broken trust. We can begin by making sure there is never again another episode like this one. We need to do more to ensure that medical research practices are sound and ethical, and that researchers work more closely with communities."



Of course, researchers have no way to know whether participants truly understand what they're agreeing to. That's hard enough with lab-based or face-to-face studies where researchers have one-on-one contact with participants. And to date there is no standardized method for collecting and validating informed consent online. That's something psychologists should be developing, says psychologist Kent Norman, PhD, of Johns Hopkins University, one of the pioneers of Web-based research.

Debriefing participants about the study and any deception that might have occurred is even trickier and may not be conducive to Web-based studies, say some researchers. Researchers normally conduct debriefing face-to-face with participants so they can handle any questions or concerns. And, although they can easily provide a written debriefing statement at the end of a study or through e-mail, there is no way to guarantee that participants will actually read it. In addition, if participants become distressed or emotional over some aspect of the study, researchers will never know - Beth Azar [Monitor on Psychology, 2004]



In conclusion, the National University of Singapore [NUS] has recently revised their Ethical Guidelines for Research with Human Participants [June 2004] and several points highlighted includes -

1. Participants should give informed consent.

2. Participants should not be given unduly hurtful or stressful procedures.

3. Deception of participants is to be avoided.

4. Use of psychological tests should observe the relevant guidelines.

5. Participants should be debriefed as appropriate.

6. Confidentiality in respect of all results, biodata or other information relating to participants must be observed.

7. Investigators must not misrepresent their skills or allow an assumption of professional expertise to stand uncorrected.

8. Permission is to be obtained through proper channels where outside institutions or organisations are involved.

9. The University, the Department and its discipline should not be brought into disrepute by discourteous or irresponsible actions.

10. Supervisors must not put pressure on students to undertake projects about which the student has ethical objections.

11. Illegal activities will automatically be deemed unethical.

You can view the detailed procedures
here.


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References:

Ethical Issues in Research Involving Human Participants

Prepared by
Cynthia B. Love, M.L.S., National Library of Medicine
Elizabeth J. Thomson, M.S., R.N., National Human Genome Research Institute
Charmaine D. Royal, Ph.D., National Human Genome Research Institute; Howard University

[1999 May]

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Ethical Guidelines and Issues for Psychological Research

Prepared by
College of Charleston, South Carolina [March, 2004]

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Ethical Issues in Research

Prepared by
Stephen M. Marson, Ph.D., ACSW
Professor, Social Work Program
University of North Carolina@Pembroke

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Short Bites on The Mass Media

Some people argue that television has a very powerful influence on our ideas, attitudes, beliefs and even behavior. Others would claim that television merely reflects the range of attitudes which already exist on society, and that people can choose to watch programmes which confirm their existing beliefs [which in reference can be interpreted as the willingness to filter information in conformance to our personal beliefs] rather than those which challenge them.


The Mass Media can be interpreted in forms of -

Books, Newspapers, Magazines or Publications of any kind. These are more commonly termed as Printed Forms of Communication.

Radio, Compact-Disc [CD], Digital Versatile Disc or formerly known as Digital Video Disc [DVD], Moving Picture Experts Group [MPEG] 1 Audio Layer 3 or popularly known as MP3, Laser Disc [LD], Cassette Tapes and even old time Records. They can be classified as Audio Communications.

Movies, Television and Video-tapes. These would be classified as Audio-Visual Communications.


Well, where does the Internet come in? Within the Internet you get publications, you get Videos-On-Demand [VOD] and even Radio Blogs. It's almost like the Internet encompasses everything.

An Online Article called the American Psychologist once described the Internet as a "Social Technology that reduces Social Involvement and Psychological Well-Being." For further references in relation to this particular article you can try
here.


From a Liberal Consensus Point of View we can argue that the Mass Media exposes people to a wide range of opinions. The public is then free to accept or reject these opinions as they wish.

+ They have a free choice of which newspapers to choose from, example Straits Times or Streats or Today or even The New Paper.

+ If they cannot find a newspaper which supports their views they will find alternatives to make themselves heard as Liberals argue that freedom of expression is imperative.

+ They firmly believe that the public is in control of the Media and they have a choice by - switching off their television sets or simply not reading a publication which disagrees with their views.


Now lets try a Conflict Theory of View. Those who supports the Conflict View sees the position of the Mass Media in serving to justify major differences in society, wealth, income and even status.

+ They believe that the conflict in our society between the rich and the poor, bosses and workers, strong and weak are made to seem natural and inevitable in ways described by the television and newspapers.

+ The Mass Media helps to maintain the Status Quo. Control the press and you control the minds of the masses - Charles P. Wallace.

+ Case study - The Glasgow University Media Group studied television coverage of news items in 1976 and claimed that the language, the photographs and the approach of news reporters was biased in favour of employers and to the disadvantage of workers or employees.



Karl Marx once wrote on fake idealism reinforced through institutional means. He means that by controlling the very means of education you receive [i.e. the schools, the mass media, the languages used and even the approved social activities] you would be moulded into conformance witht the image that the State requires.

Think.. The Matrix. Like the theory of the Human Battery. All your life you have been fed with ideals and images so that you would not be aware of the alternate reality. Another example could even be related The Truman Show starring Jim Carrey.

A more radical interpretation can mean that ownership of these resources means control over one's lives. However, given the diverification of education in Singapore this point is worth more observations and debates to sufficiently clarify.


[UK] In 1986, Winston Churchill Junior, a Conservative MP, introduced a Bill into the House of Commons to limit scenes of sex and violence on television programmes including the news. At about the same time a Labour MP, Clare Short, introduced a Bill to prevent the 'Page 3 nudes' from appearing next to stories of rape and violence against women in the tabloid press. These Bills were very different and were introduced with different reasons and with different aims, but they would have provided more control over what we see. They were both unsuccessful. Arguments about the 'freedom' of expression' were used to avoid controlling or censoring images on television or in newspapers. But gaining access to television time and newspaper space is very expensive so this is not a freedom which everyone can exercise equally.

In addition, with the introduction of Cable Television [Starhub Cable] the availability of wider varieties of programmes has also changed the relationship between the public and television. For instance, free-to-air channels only offers post-dated movie releases unlike HBO which offers up-to-date movie premieres thus increasing the element of attraction to television. The emphasis is more on entertainment than as a means of encouraging local decision-making and national politics as the enterprise is profit-driven by nature.

Even most tabloids, especially the popular ones, publishes a pin-up each day of women dressed in attractive outfits and glittering forms of jewellery. These pin-ups tend to reinforce the view of women being viewed as attractive objects rather than people.


In conclusion, with the rapid advancement of technology comes the rapid change in ways in which television programmes and newspapers are being produced. Who owns and controls the media will still be important, whatever technology is being used to produce them.




Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Media Monopoly [Again]

I was browsing through the website of Channelnewsasia when I chanced upon this advertisement -

"Abang45 a Divorcee with a 19yr old Daughter & 17yr old Son looking for female/male friendS aged 18-49. 91267260. 24hourS. I HAD BEEN DIVORCED FOR 10YEARS."

I kid you not, the last sentence was in capital letters.
Here.

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The return of the media monopoly has spewed forth a recent spate of articles ranging from Straits Times to blogs. A particular reference for critical viewpoints can be read on
Singabloodypore.

As I reflect back, I dug through my archive of newspapers snippets and to my joy uncovered two articles - One by Cherian George who's a postdoctoral fellow at the Asia Research Institute, National University of Singapore [NUS], where he studies media and politics. The other article by our local columnist [Ms] Chua Mui Hoong. The following entry would possess certain excerpts from their articles.


Ironically, both parties were already prepared to throw in the towel even before competition has started. Minister for Information, Communications and the Arts Lee Boon Yang said,"Wherever we can, we will try to promote and encourage competition, but we are also realistic and if competition does not work, then, well, we have to accept that the market itself is just too small to accept more than one significant player." - Cherian George.

Throw in doubts that this duopoly had been managed by Chief Executives with no prior experience in media management and the methods used for competition were hard-hitting you would not expect very positive analysis for the future of the media market. Programme timings clashes head-on and the famous cry for foul when both stations hosted their main programmes at the same day on the same time slot. The State regulator for the Media Industry, also known as Media Development Authority [MDA], quickly issued the Code of Practice For Market Conduct in the Provision of Mass Media Services to ensure regulatory practices in the competitive market. - Cherian George.

The popular comparison of the media industry was referred to the telecoms industry. By taking an economic viewpoint, we use a theory called the Law of Two. It means in any industry if there are just two companies that produces exactly the same product and compete on price, then there's a perfectly competitive outcome. The price is driven down to market level - to the point where that is the highest price consumers are willing to pay and the lowest price possible for companies to stay in business. This situation is called a Bertrand Competition. - Chua Mui Hoong.

One point to note is that Bertrand Competition works only if both companies are able to produce perfect substitutes for each other. Reasoning? If both products are perfect substitutes, the consumer will keep switching between the two companies and the companies are forced to lower prices which ultimately benefits the consumers. - Chua Mui Hoong.

So when you have Singtel versus M1 versus Starhub, the main priority is the handphones. Attractions vary only in terms of price plans but a telephone call is a telephone call so only the price matters while most consumers do not place heavy emphasis on the quality of the phone reception; perhaps on the availability of the reception.

But the media industry is highly differentiated and the two different stations would never produce two identical programmes. Even when both stations hosted their own charity fund-raising drive the special stars employed and the variety of entertainment hosted was completely different.

A good argument can be held for the improvement in quality as both companies strive for breakthroughs in terms of product quality since price cannot be used as a comparing factor [The channels are free-to-air after all unless you subscribe to Starhub Cablevision but that's another story].

MediaCorp showed strong support for goverment policies and constantly hosted health programmes and local drama series advocating the importance of family life and racial harmony. MediaWorks however chose to delve deeper into daily issues that often summarises the bouquets and brickbats of our lives. They even experimented with using the 35mm camera lens to produce a series about our national defence and on the impending threats of terrorism. In a matter of jest, it almost looks like two different approaches - the ying and the yang. MediaCorp used the "white light" [harmony, happiness and health] approach while MediaWorks delved deeper into the "dark shade" [Perceptions, National Security, Supernatural] approach.

And it seems like the "White Light" has won in the end, coincidental?

Why then did the State not allow media liberalisation to include the entry of foreign Multinational Corporations [MNC] as well? Perhaps we can use the example of Virgin Mobile as a reference in the case of the telecoms industry. Virgin Mobile was set up by Mr Brandon Virgin, owner of Virgin Enterprises which diversifies into a large variety of businesses and its interest in Singapore is only one of many. The Company launched an aggressive marketing campaign with outlets in The Hereen [a prime location considering the flow of fashion-savvy teens and adults] and eye-catching advertisements featuring our local actor Mr Ivan Heng. Unfortunately, they retreated from the competition after 2 years claiming substantial losses.

If Economics offers no positive analysis for the duopoly of Media Market then why the strong desire to push in the first place? Perhaps the State would have felt less pressure in nurturing the media market without interventions from foreign MNCs, and they would have considered the media market as a special catoegory not comparable to other industries like health or even airline services.

Unfortunately, this strong desire for experimentation has resulted in losses of over S$200 millions for both companies.

Not to mention that competition from media companies would usually result in some programmes of sex appeal being thrown in for results-driven goals. Mediacorp's Monday primetime slot featured "Are You Hot?" while MediaWorks competed by bringing in "For Love or Money" as a reply.

Now the final verdict rests on a merger of the two media companies, with Singapore Press Holdings [SPH] buying nearly half of their rival's newspaper assets and MediaCorp holding 80% of stakes in a new company co-owned by both MediaCorp and SPH.

Let the new era of Media Monopoly begin once more.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Of Singles, Parents and Single Parents

The recent Singapore Idol Contestant Maia made a comment sometime ago when asked about her single parent status. Without batting an eyelid she replied,"There are lots of girls out there who play. Then they go for an abortion, I don't."



Commendable and definitely a very responsible answer. Last week she was voted out of Singapore Idol. I can't comment too much on her singing because I hardly followed any of her performances. A little secret to share with you guys - I know who is that guy that got her autograph. *Winks*

Alright, Maia's not the main topic. Somehow her image popped into my head when I thought of swinging single parents and swinging singles. Is there any particular direction of responsiblity we can pinpoint to? Critics have long labelled the "MTV Generation" as the era of erosion for moral values. However, I quote a classic example of a long-running TV sitcom series as early as 1996. It's titled Murphy Brown where a successful TV news journalist is also a single mother.



Just for news trivia - Her Son Avery was actually played by Haley Joel Osmont.

Can we quote this long running sitcom which was so popular in Singapore in the early 1990s as one possible reason for the shift of mindsets for views towards swinging singles, divorce and single parenthood? Yes I am expecting the Media to shoulder some responsibility for the change of values. While it partners with the rising influence of globalisation and glorified the image of a single parent, the other effect it brought was the possible image of a swinging single.

Karl Marx had a theory which was imprinted in my mind so strong that I saw the immediate logic and marvelled. It's called Commodity Fetishism. Basically it means the strong emphasis on material wants in our everyday lives. You would probably identify the trend as materialism. In a Capital City like Singapore, isn't material stability a top priority here? Our Culture identifies a "good man" as someone who possesses the 5 Cs. Brings to mind the very term that Shylock uses to describe Antonio in the Merchant of Venice; that a man's worth is directly measurable in material terms. Gone are the traditional technocratic thinking that "love is everything" and we have values like friendship and filial piety advocating support for family and friends no matter what is the circumstances. These days, we would be more concerned about being able to afford this and that.

When I was watching the Musical Mamma Mia one of Donna Sheridian's friend commented that in their days, the father would pay for the entire wedding. It could have been interpreted by the audience as a sacarstic remark at "making the irresponsible guy pay" but the literal translation seems to hint that by using material wants you can amend the faults or wrongdoings you have committed to a certain extent.

Our system of punishments seem to understand this point perfectly - to the point we have labelled by some foreign journalists as being a "fine" City.

A recent song by Natasha Bedingfield that's constantly hitting the airwaves of Perfect 10 is called "Single" which sings of a young lady's joy at being single. She proclaims herself as a status of declaration for independence. An excerpt from the song goes like this:

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be

A combination of all the above-mentioned factors and you would probably have a swinging single who's happy with their current status and having the time of their lives indulging in commodity therapy. Take a look at our current interpretation of the statistics that raised worrying issues - Our singles are marrying later on the average demographic calculations. And the main reason they quote? Not enough money. It's like.. in the past days when a baby was born they father would go "Yippee!" Fast Forward to the global city era and the father would probably say "So soon?" and activate his mental calculator. He'd be thinking about how expensive the baby would be, like the baby is being reduced to the level of a commodity's maintenance as well.

The State has interpreted this rising concern & amended policies like baby bonus and longer maternity leave in their Civil Service Sector, not to mention the recent amendment of 5.5-day week [alternate Saturdays] to 5 day week but no reduction in the amount of working hours. We shall cross our fingers and observe.

Well, this has been one lengthy post. But indeed while I was organising other articles have caught my attention and more blogging will be done. Till then, Carpe Diem. Life is short, play hard. *LOL* I am definitely sounding like a TV advertisement.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

A Musical to remember



It was an evening to remember.

With Dancers dressed from country Greek to scuba diving suits, the cast sang and danced away to an appreciative audience who gave thunderous applause at every break of a wonderful rendition mainly encompassing Abba Songs.

The Opening Song was "I have a Dream" which showed the young lady Rosie with hope and smiles and a secret wish - For her father to give her away at her Wedding. Coincidentally it was also the final song of the play but the number took on a whole new meaning as she embarked on a whole new adventure with her newly-wed husband.

The action took place on a stylish set which morphed from rustic Greek islet with houses built into cliff faces, to the fluorescent yellows, pinks and blues of a stylised dream sequence.

I am sorry as I am rushing for time. The play raised issues about single-parenthood, marriage vows and the current nonchalant attitude we approach divorce these days. Will blog more on these issues when I'm home tonight.

For now - The Musical was lovely.
P.S. Links are working. *Whew*

Friday, October 22, 2004

I found my Sociology Lecturer!!

*huFF*

Well I'm still pretty lost with trying to figure the darn HTML codes, previous attempts to include additional links only succeeded in blocking the Blogger button at the sidebar. Not that I'm really particular about the button being but as you can see the additional link box is out of proportion and I'm attempting to try other HTML codes I can lay my hands own which would correct this problem. *Determined Look*
Ok, I know I can do this. No half-baked low-grade non-upgradeable PC is going to stop me from mastering the language of pictorial & contextual website blogging.

Oh yes there is this Sociology Lecturer who taught me during 2003 and he is Mr Steven McDermott, basically a short tribute to him because he changed the way I view things forever. He didn't just teach Sociology, he showed us how to apply and how alive it is in our everyday lives where certain issues are slapped right into our faces. Prior to his teachings I have no absloute clue what Sociology is all about. Now I am thoroughly influenced by his sense of satirical humour while sharp insight into current affair issues commented by him [always fondly remembering his nickname as the "Evil Guai Low"].

Before I get the links working properly and encased into a nice are within the sidebar, you can check out his
Blog. I kid you not, he is a world of knowledge encased within a stature of Pocket Hercules.

Now! Back to experimenting with the damn language.

Blog Improvements

Hooray! I have officially pasted my First Link! And the honour goes to Mr Brown! Well I'll be adding more links once I have properly sorted out this HTML business, right now everything's mainly clicking on "View Source" followed by Cut and Paste. So... *Sigh* I'm gonna need some time on this.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Looks Matter?

Met up with a classmate for dinner yesterday and we were discussing about tutorials when an innocent question like "How come you're on MC today?" led to a confession about her feeling down because of a breakup with her boyfriend. Ouch.

Oh she's fine, well she seems to be. Hey, I'm no Relationship Councillor. The best I could probably do for you is to take an analytical point of view since I'm detached from the entire affair. Unfortunately I was constantly swayed by her charms and found myself agreeing on certain points. Yes call me a sexist pig or even a perverted two-headed bastard, whatever. Allow me to demonstrate a little experiment.



You're a goddamn liar if you start nodding your head and say they look compatible.

Now! Take a look at this picture.



Now tell me your honest opinions - Would you tend to believe the guy would choose the lady in the first picture? Or the lady in the second picture?

By the way, I borrowed these pictures from someone else's blog so I'm declaring these are borrowed lest someone starts accusing me of pilfering or being a copycat.

But that is not the main point.

Well guys?

Given the recent trend in slimming ads and weight-loss nutrition diets, pills and potions have been flying off the shelves in response to the "fad". And one familiar face is.....




Vicki!! *Wolf Whistles*

Yes yes.. So I do think she's gorgeous. Hey, I'm still pretty much an average guy who looks at beautiful ladies and admire their beauty and svelte figures. Give them credit! They worked hard for it too!

Of course we have our own local celebrity!




One of the pioneers of the slimming movement in Singapore endorsing Extrim.

A more recent addition to the bandwagon -




Fine fine, I shall stop all this unnecessary publicity for them. They've got fan clubs anyway!

By the way, suggestive photo isn't it?. Come on all you horny guys out there, dont deny! Hey I noticed and I'm not denying it!


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Yes well the sudden thought struck me when I was pondering over what transpired in the conversation between my classmate and myself.

She was very certain that she was not in the wrong though some of her answers are strong, suggestive of a strong character perhaps even the possibility of appearing rather dominating at times. Well even she confessed that her temper is not very good and what I understand about the guy he's very easy-going even appearing non-carish and just happy-go-lucky most of the time.

I am a strong sign myself but certain points we discussed on were more of agreements rather than arguments and I questioned myself - If she did not have charms would I have stuck to my own viewpoints and blatantly quarrelled with her outright? Perhaps so - even to the point where she's right but I still do not accept?


Yes I am prone to being discriminating - A lady in my dance class tried to approach me once but I shunned her because she looks absolutely nerdy. Well I would have been friendlier but she was asking like, "Whats your handphone number, address, birthdate and email address?"



You get the point.

A friend also sent me this picture via email.




I promptly choked on my apple [half-finished].

OH MY GOD! That was a classic!! What have they done!!!!!

Well for Hung fans you can check out the website here. *Splutter* Damn computer graphics...

Goodness this is one picture-blog entry! Maybe I'm just overwhelmed with the desire to flood my blog with pictures. After all, a picture paints a thousand words.

One last picture!




Yes Yes Yes!.. That is the musical I'm catching tomorrow! Till then!....

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Fine! I can't resist adding this last entry because I was on MSN last night and composed this poem on the spot for a friend as a good night wish and she said it's really nice so I wanted to remember this poem as well!


Scent of Roses on your Bed
A Circle of Fragrance around your head
Scent of Summer Sunshine Winter Glade
Er........ something glimmering shade


MUahahahahaha.. Oh Well Eel! At least you took it down! *Big Grinz*

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

A Touching Story

My Dear Friends,
Call me a sucker for certain touching stories but this story has moved me [to a certain extent] and I saw the final message at the end of the story. So I decided I will publish this story and dstribute it around as well.

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When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together.

I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room.

A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

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A Note from the Author : If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters.

Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a non-commercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice.

Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.

Jim Willis 2001


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*Sudden bout of Sadness*

Ok fine I don't like this feeling, I've had enough of sadness in the past.

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Jazz Training tonight till 9:30pm at NUS, not sure if I can still find enough energy to hang out at my Best Bud Dan's house tonight after training. Later guys.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Weekend's Over

Ah... Monday blues.. Nothing like a bout of "unwillingness to drag oneself out of bed" and "Yawn, I hate Mondays" to start your week. Yes.. I was practically stuck to my bed like a piece of magnet to iron. Even my mum was awakened by constant alarm ringing and proceeded to smack my head with a big cudgel, think those with spikes as well. But I carried on sleeping despite the consistent bleeding so now I'm blogging as a spectral shard of myself.

*Pause*

Ok that was totally lame. I can't help it! Monday mornings are making my brains so fuzzy that I can't even remember what I wanted to blog about. Damn... Save Me!

*Plays Remy Zero's 'Save Me' from Smallville Soundtrack*

Probably stems from the fact that my last weekend's training was so tough that I practically felt drained from everything. Yes yes.. I know.. Weekends are supposed to rejuvenate oneself but I'm like making myself even more tired. Think of it this way - I work all week just simply to be able to afford my studies and dance. Hey did you guys ever think I don't have to pay for my trainings?? It's subsidised not free guys! Geez! Besides I'm pretty much in the learning phase and definitely not qualified to be a professional yet. Last Sunday's practise was a perfect example of how I am not ready.


Scenario - Head Chereographer [HC] says, "Julian! Stand in the Centre! Take the Lead! K ladies, form a pyramid after Julian. Alright everybody let's go gimme 1, 2.. 5, 6, 7, 8!" And I froze. Well not immediately but after a few moves I frOzE. That was like soooooo embarrasing, the rest of my group paused for a while confused because I stopped thus effectively destroying the entire chereography. The rest of them waiting by the side opened their mouth in shock and some shook their heads. Oh man........ well HC didnt shout or scold [which he does sometimes] but that very moment I felt like the whole earth could just open up and swallow me coz you don't forget your moves after an entire practise. You.. just don't. If this was a stage performance then damn me to the eternal fires of hell. Maybe J was right, I'm not concentrating. Makes me wonder - Why wasn't I concentrating? What the hell was my mind was so pre-occupied with? *HaiZ* HC did give me a comment though - Julian you've been dancing for so long already, don't you know how to follow the beats by now?" Oh God, somebody put a stake into my heart and just drive the hammer home. Please.

*HaiZ~*

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Ok! Something more cheerful! I finally caught "Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow" at Tampines Mall! TimE for a MoviE ReviEw!

Cast
Jude Law - Joe 'Sky Captain' Sullivan
Gwyneth Paltrow - Polly Perkins
Angelina Jolie - Capt. Francesca 'Franky' Cook
Bai Ling - Mysterious Woman who keeps on sabotaging Joe's progress
Giovanni Ribisi - Dex Dearborn


Synopsis
Set in New York City circa 1939, the film centers on a reporter who notices that the world's scientists are disappearing. Teamed with a skilled pilot and an adventurous colleague, it's up to her to thwart the plans of a mad scientist bent on world domination.

Review
Very very 60's or 70's, think the era when TV was relatively monochrome and films like 'Casablanca' and 'King Kong' ruled the era. In fact quite a number of scenes were filmed using mainly basic colours. The dressing? Think trench coats, polished side-parting hairstyles for the guys and long blonde locks for the ladies. Allow me to give a demonstration.



I think Jude Law looks perfect for the movie, not many guys could actually carry off the look of a WWII fighter pilot. Not to mention the fight scenes were superbly infused due to excellent usage of smooth computer graphic interfaces [CGI].



From the Directors of "Independence Day"

Overall the movie is entertaining and feel-good, don't set your critics on the storyline because it is so predictable that even certain movie lines are cheesy. Transport yourself back to the classical films and you'll notice throughout the film they only have ONE kiss so people who're looking for the likes of Basic Instinct or even The Matrix Reloaded are going to be very disappointed. You do not have heroes bleeding profusely and getting beaten up real bad, just the running around solving mysteries and some romantic tension and of course lots of good action scenes.

One Last thought - I need some more knowledge on HTML!! I'm trying to post links on my blog to other friends' and I dO nOt kNoW hOw tO!! Someone Help Me!!! No Sorry no song for this sentence. CiaoZ~

Friday, October 15, 2004

The I vs Me

During my Social Psych class yesterday we touched on a topic called Impression Management. In basic terms we seek to explain the main reasons how our behaviour is shaped -

Impression Management
It can be defined as the goal-directed activity of controlling or regulating information in order to influence the impressions formed by an audience. Through Impression Management, people try to shape an audience's impressions of a person. When people are trying to control impressions of themselves, as opposed to other people or entities, the activity is called Self-Presentation.

Does this ring a bell in some people's heads? Think! Where can we put this to practical usage?

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Advertising is simply the art of influence through the control of information. What is being "presented" are signals to get people to form the "right" impression, about us and the things we care about.

Something familiar ~



TA-DAHH!! Who could have forgotten the look on the young man's face when he had just completed his "masterpiece?"

At another level, though, I would say that Impression Management is not simply a type of behavior that occurs only under limited circumstances, such as during a job interview or on a date. Instead, Impression Management is an interaction of interpersonal experience. People do not deal with information randomly or dispassionately. Our opinions about what constitutes the "truth" are affected by our personal agendas or self-interests. To help us to accomplish our objectives in life, we "package" information to help our "audiences" ie. family, friends or even work colleagues to draw the "right" conclusion.

Now, this is not necessarily deceptive or immoral, although it certainly can be used for illicit ends. Therefore, Impression management is like presenting an edited work designed to convey key information effectively to others. We simply cannot reveal everything about ourselves to a particular audience; it is impossible. We must edit the information to make it "fitting to the occasion." and it may take just as much social skill to create an accurate impression as to create a misleading one. In fact, research has shown that people who have better acting skills also are more successful at presenting themselves accurately to others. Hint - Beware of actors and actresses *Loud Laughter*

Ok Ok... Let me defend Impression Management on some grounds -

Impression management also can be used for beneficial ends. Although people act in ways that advance their own self-interests, they also seem to regulate information in order to support and protect the identities of others, to make others feel good, to help others cope, and to inspire them to seek new challenges.

Summary? - White Lies.. Or Half-Truths? Perhaps even Hidden Truths.

An example of such beneficial impression management is the father who helps his child interpret a failure in a way that preserves the child's self-confidence and promotes effective coping, even if the father is privately unsure about the real causes of the failure.

Hmmm........ Ok, maybe we don't need others to "filter" our information for us. What if, I'm saying what if, our beliefs and values are shaped by how others sees us? Would we be the ones to "filter" the information?

In Layman's terms - We choose to believe what we think is good for us.

Sounds familiar again? How many times have you been told that you're lousy? You suck? And you refuse to believe? Simple, because you are filtering the information that is being fed to you. And in the process if you strongly believe you're good, these words will not affect you directly but subconciously - you might be driven to perform even better or on the reverse psychology side you perform certain destructive actions on purpose and then attempt to perform brilliantly just to emphasise the fact that you ARE good. In the process, we lose track of what was our original purpose and our destructive motives get out of control - Crime, or even Murder occurs.


Ponder my friends.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

There's no news like bad news

Had been receiving bad news recently. Also felt a little bad since I had not blogged for a while. Pre-occupied with so many things that my timing was packed till the brim. Just in case if you're wondering how's my schedule like allow me to narrate a short breakdown -

Monday
Work ends at 6pm. Heads to Studio for Jazz Class from 7:30pm to 8:30pm. Reaches home by 10pm. Quick shower, light meal & a little revision till 12 midnight.

Tuesday
Work ends at 6pm. Grabs a light meal & studies a little till 8:30pm for Hiphop which ends at 9:30pm and reaches home by 11pm. Quick shower, minor stuff and lights out by midnight.

Wednesday
Work.. argh just take it as I finish work at 6pm everyday. Heads for classes at Stansfield. Ends at 10pm, reaches home by 11pm. Nah... too tired. Lights out!

Thursday
Work.. Classes ends at 8:15pm. Sometimes I'd take this chance to meet friends for coffee or a light dinner. Other times I'd just head straight home to relax/jog.

Friday!
Yeah! Well sometimes we have tutorials. If not I'd head to another studio for their class which is more fun and relaxed so I actually get a good time just dancing away. Most probably hang out with friends till late but will still head home by midnight if I'm working on Saturdays. I work alternate saturdays.

Saturday!!
Mornings are always alternating between work or Body Conditioning in the morning. Afternoon till late nights are free and easy but it seems so far they're always packed with meeting A or B groups of friends. At least I know you guys are always looking out for me! *High Five*

SUNDAY!!
Alrite! Hiphop! Total Hiphop Day! From 12plus till 5plus pm it's just hiphop.. hiphop and more hiphop! Work that ass baby woohoo! God now I sound like some aerobics-crazed woman mauahaha.. Can't help it, the infectious music of my hiphop practises just gets me pumping and grooving non-stop. Well.. sunday evenings I'd just chill at home, finish up some homework, catch-up on newspapers.. maybe play some games on my PC. Anyway it's still lights out by midnight.

There you have it.


Alright alright, enough about my boring daily routines. Geez I follow it so faithfully it's almost like some ritual, I should just make an alarm on my watch that beeps at certain times of the day and I'd go "Whoopie it's time for class/dance/sleep!"

*Loud shouting in the distance*

Ah.. yes yes I'm so sorry. I have sidetracked again. Now much as I would like this blog to become a "ranting session" but since I have posted this title I do feel a certain responsibility to explain why.

Explain.. yes.. how coincidental. Just recently I made an application for a transfer from my current appointment as Customer Relations Officer in the Customer Service Section to the Corporate Communications Division. While I must admit this is my second time applying for the job, the nervousness and excitement still remains for I'm very very much interested in handling public media enquiries and press releases than actual negotiations & customer relations on a daily basis. Hey, my profile suggested I'm more of a "Developer" than "Promoter" means!.. I like to do different things everyday!

Unfortunately, my HR department has changed my appointment schedule quite a few times. This would be fine with me for previous times a nice lady has called me to inform me beforehand and even sought my consultation so as to prevent any inconvenience. In my personal context I believed the email application says "Priority is given to internal staff" for I have been told there're 4 other applicants for this vacancy and I'm the only internal staff applying. Meaning? I should be given top priority right? Why should I give way to my competitors? To others who are acutally competing with me for this same job? Am I being too nice to other people?

Things came to a conclusion this morning when my HR department called me saying,"Hey Julian don't be angry with me but the interview is off. Cant tell you the reason, confidential. Will let you know again when there's a vacancy."

Should I be angry? Should I shout back at the HR Officer and tell her,"HR sucks! You people are so irresponsible! What f**king reason could be so confidential that you would do such shabby handling of recruitment matters? Hullo! I'm not asking why I'm not selected, I'm asking why the interview was just called off after so much trouble to re-arrange the different timings on your and my side??"

*huFF*

Now let's add some sugar and spice and everything nice. Yesterday afternoon I received a message from Eel - "Julian.... I've quit Dance..." By reaction I rushed to find some dark corner of my office pantry which promptly shocked a poor lady colleague when she came in to make a drink and found me squatting at a corner talking on my handphone with my hands covering the mouthpiece.

Well.. Eel was crying and sobbing telling me she could not take the pressure from P**** anymore and she wants to put all these behind her. I could at least make her feel better and coaxed some laughter from her with jokes but well.. seems she's pretty set on her decision to quit. She's even called the Club President. Haiz~ One less inspiration on my Saturday Jazz Conditionings. HaiZ~

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Yes there are some more bad news but........ I'm sorry, thinking about all these news just makes me real tired. Will blog again.

Friday, October 08, 2004

When the Fire Cools

Eel [Names have been changed to protect the identity of the actual person] was conversing with me on MSN Messenger yesterday night and we touched on the topic of Passion. We received an email from Jelly [yes it's another nick] confirming the practise session for Jazz this Saturday at NUS from 3-5pm. I shall try to recall the conversation as close as I can remember -

Eel : Saturday again, Dance. *sigh*
Me : Why? You make it sound like as if its almost a chore.

Eel : Well it is, dont understand but I used to love dance a lot
Me : Is there some obligation you need to fufil dats why you're not very willing?

Eel : Perhaps, my studies have not been good and I need to concentrate but the constant trainings and preparations for concerts and shows are not giving me enough time.
Me : Well, perhaps you need to ask yourself are you prepared to commit at this level? Being passionate about something and willing to take up huge responsibilities would mean lots of sacrifices, social life is the first
thing that comes to mind.

Eel : But my social life is already revolving around the dance group and my school and nothing else.
Me : I can understand the intense pressure you're facing, while I'd say P**** has placed high hopes on you all you must understand that by becoming Dance Head follows big responsibilities. It won't be about just following your passion anymore but a need to excel and set an example.

OK fine, some words in the conversation have been changed but this is the main gist and what follows later are mainly small chatter.


Indeed, when we start out to do something passion drives us far and ahead and we push ourselves to constantly improve. Then we get recognition [perhaps] and others start to take our achievements as an example. In the process we get pressure from others' expectations and whether we like it or not we are now having an Obligation to excel and achieve even greater heights or face disappointing others. Great Expectations are always partnered with great pressure. However, I'd like to introduce a philosophy that an ex-teacher has taught me before.


"It's not a problem if you don't think it is."

Catchy and nice to hear, my interpretation is that to cure the effects of great pressure and you need to empower yourself with great confidence and great courage. How many times have we faltered in our progress because of a lack of courage to push ourselves further? It is definitely clear when achieving greater heights involves making sacrifices, how much courage must we muster before we can take the next step? To live under scrutiny and constantly? Like a singer or actor who must constantly improve their skills so that the world would not leave them behind. How much pressure can we take before the initial passion dies down and we realise that in order to continue doing this we must either take on the responsibility of either pushing ourselves with unparalled determination or simply allow our free spirit to take us to the next interest which can fuel our interest and passion all over again?

Interesting - Allow me to compare this with some happening all around us. It's everywhere and yet not seen. It's something that happens to us at least once in a lifetime because we're all empowered with this special gift of emotions. It's called Relationships. The initial passion of discovery! Ah.. Like a fresh wind caressing your face and pulling you closer, you yearn for more and you explore. The momentum picks and soon you're spreading your arms welcoming the strong breeze circling every part of your body. Your hair, eyes, chin and even the legs. It exhilarates you and leaves you gasping for breath. Then comes the choice - How much courage and determination will it take before you take the next step? To brave whatever debris that might get caught in the strong breeze and cause pain and injury? We can refer to them as 'setbacks' in life. Just how much can we take before we yell "Stop!" to the strong wind? And when it dies down, will it be as easy to raise the wind again? Knowing now of the possible debris that might come your way?

I had this particular relationship, one that was so strong it "swept me off my feet." I lost control and allowed the wind to take me where it pleases. At times the wind carries me high and I feel like I'm at the top of the world but the next moment the wind dies and I crash to the earth, bruised and bleeding. Full of rage I roared against the wind but to no avail because I am powerless against the wind. Then the wind comes back in full force, caressing me and once again I am borne high. I forgot about all the past injuries because the wind cools the skin and dries the bleeding, then it dies again and once again I crash.
It continued for 2 years and for that period of time I know not where I come from or where I should be. I was drifting from place to place with no sense of direction and time. I do know what I should do or how I should plan because... I can't. Then one fine day, I got bruised so badly from one particular fall I decided that enough was enough. I dug my feet into the ground and stayed put. When the wind came again expecting to sweep me off my feet it couldn't, the wind got confused and changed direction attempting different angles to uproot me. It caressed, cajoled, circled endlessly whispering in my ears tempting me with the high feeling again. I cried and broke down but I adamantly refused to be borne away with no direction again, ever. The wind became impatient and moved on. Suddenly there was a stillness in the air, like a vacuum in the very fabric of air itself. I felt stifled and the yearning came back hundred-fold. Like a drug addict being deprived of his cocaine for the very first time, I beat my fists to my chest and bellowed out my frustrations but the wind has moved on heedless of my cries. Took me a while before I could muster enough strength to uproot myself and move on to a new pasture. Now, in this pasture I have new winds of different natures encircling me. Gentle yet supportive - I call them family and friends. Once in a blue moon I still prick my ears to catch the familiar call of that particular wind. No longer of yearning but more of a curiousity of where that wind has gone.

*Whew*

That almost sounded.. poetic. Haahaha. No guys, I'm fine. Geez, just a re-collection ok?

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Being Sensitive

It's a fine morning! And everything is just right! *BleahZ*

I was waiting for the bus this morning and couple others beside me were preparing their EZ-Link Cards when this old lady suddenly crossed the road, forcing the bus to come to an abrupt halt. I could swear the distance between the old lady and the bus driver was so close he could simply open the front window and slap the old lady on the head.

Guess What?

Old lady continued crossing in front of the bus. Never mind the fact that all the bus-driver needs to do is to release the clutch or brakes and Vrroom! Splat! Human tissue and lots of squashed muscles just like the sauce you see on your meatball sphagetti.

*Group of us waiting at the bus stop stares in open-mouthed shock*

*Bus-driver also stares at old woman in open disbelief*

Old lady finally makes it across onto the pavement while leaving the poor bus-driver still wondering if she would suddenly change her mind and cross the road again. Who knows, old lady might be doing this for fun.


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After I reached Ang Mo Kio MRT, I was standing at the traffic light junction waiting for the green man when this car [cant remember the exact model though it's definitely not BMW or Lexus or I'm sure I'd have noticed] pulled up beside the traffic light waiting for the pedestrians to finish crossing. I happened to glance inside the car and there was this very very young boy probably about 5 or 6 years old with the most innocent and adorable expression. ANd he was just looking at everyone outside the car and waving to no one in particular. *Laughter* I waved back and he caught my action and smiled and waved even more enthusiastically. Somehow that made my morning just feel really much better. Honest. I was smiling all the way to the office. =)

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I wanted to start this post initially as a woe-pouring session. You see, I had a light dinner with some classmates at Park Mall's Hans and we were on the escalator going up to ground floor. We were joking and teasing each other about getting fat from eating too much when I teased Miss J about her flab on the side and gave it a gentle jab. Mind you, no slapping of butt or any attempt to fondle or linger which would definitely be not polite.

She turned around and proceeded to give a short glare and gave an exclamation.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT FOR? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT'S VERY SENSITIVE? GUYS AND GIRLS SHOULD NOT TOUCH TOUCH EACH OTHER! LAST TIME YOU SLAPPED ME ON THE THIGH I WARNED YOU ALREADY! STILL TOUCH!"

*Stunned silence for a while*

Well, add fuel to the fire. The other lady in my group proceeded to comment "Yah! Yah! This can amount to molest and you can be sued!"

*Even more stunned silence*

Blah Blah Blah.. people being sued for molest.. blah blah blah.. guys and girls should not touch each other. EXCUSE ME, you wanna make such clear distinctions wear a robe. Become a nun. Or just convert into some religion that makes any form of physical contact from the opposite sex as vile as poison. And a violation of this rule can amount to you being strapped to some wheel and splashed with water for 49 days and nights as a cleansing ritual. For your information, even when you're standing in the MRT people occasionally brush past you. Friends can slap each on the back, even a kiss on the the cheek and you're telling me I'm gonna get SUED for a gentle nudge on the HIPS?? GET REAL!!!

That sudden rush of anger almost overwhelmed me and I was so tempted to slap her so hard on the back she would fly. For THAT I get sued I have no regrets because that is tantamount to attempted assault. I do know some legal restrictions concerning physical contact because I have a friend who's a policeman so over sessions of coffe talk I do keep myself updated on certain do's and don'ts THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

*hUFF*

Well, I've learnt my lesson. And I'll be very well-behaved in front of her from now on. What irks me is that I can't bear to scold her in front of the class because I'm still SENSITIVE enough to understand FRIENDS GET HURT WHEN YOU TELL THEM PHYSICAL CONTACT IS ILLEGAL AND CAN CAUSE UNNECCESSARY TROUBLE.

I kept silent though my face must have been really really black.

In class, she even turned around gave me a sneer and said,"WHAT ARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT??" Man, someone give me an Oscar for best actor because that took some supreme effort to hold back. Somewhere inside my head I hear brain cells being fried and calling and screaming in agony while the anger runs rampant inside my head and not the heart. I must be hearing wrongly?? There's a difference between SULKING and ANGER?? I reduced my unhappiness to silence and sulking and you got the cheek to release YOUR ANGER ON ME BY QUESTIONING ME??

Fine. You know what, we're still friends but dun expect me to smile and make you laugh anymore. Not until you learn to control that temper of yours and un-warranted hurting tongue of yours. YOU DO NOT DO THIS TO FRIENDS.

*Meditates for a while*

Oh well, no point brooding over this for long. Makes one tired. I know it's true because I was so angry for the first half of the lectures I could not pay attention, felt depressed & hurt and by the time break-time came I simply had no mood to carry on and left.

"Do not do unto others what you would not have others do unto you."

Bullshit, I'm definitely welcoming people to wrestle with me and slap me on the back. Hell most of my friends are like this anyway.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Groovy Baby

I finally finished chereographing the dance for my friend's competition this coming Saturday. In case you guys haven't read my previous post his selected song is "Night Fever" by Bee Gees. He almost wanted to change to Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual" but I was stumped by that because somehow I could not think of moves to chereograph for that song. Besides his colleagues agreed that his rendition of Bee Gees' version sounded pretty good, also means he can maintain a steady falsetto. I wanted to go watch him but he says,"Sooo sorry.. Tickets to the competition are sold out." In my mind I was thinking "What the Hell? People are actually paying to watch him compete? Oh man.. this ain't fair." Well he was really nice because he told me he'd try to "wrangle" some tickets for me. SOunds so scary like he's gonna strangle some innocent man/woman who's going to the event just for the tickets. *Cold Sweat*

Hmmm.. And the song also brings to mind the movie Saturday Night Fever starring John Travolta.




This film propelled John Travolta to stardom & made white polyester suits an instant fashion craze.


Nineteen-year-old Brooklyn native Tony Manero (Travolta) lives for Saturday nights at the local disco where he's king of the club, thanks to his stylish moves on the dance floor. But things don't look so rosy at home as Tony fights constantly with his father & has to compete with his family's favoured attention of his older brother, a priest. Nor can he find satisfaction in his job at a paint store.

However, things begin to change when he spies Stephanie (Karen Lynn Gorney) in the disco and starts training with her for the club's dance competition. Stephanie dreams of the world beyond Brooklyn, and her plans to move to the big city just over the bridge soon change Tony's life forever.

This portrait of young Brooklyn natives struggling to escape their sheltered lives for freedom and adventure in the big city of Manhattan defined a generation of disco dancers and 1970s youths rebelling against the more traditional expectations of their parents. Set to the popular dance music of the Bee Gees, this instant cinematic sensation revealed the fashions and aspirations of an underground culture to the world.


+ + + Credit to Yahoo! Movies Page for the information provided + + +


How could we ever forget one of the most memorable Retro Heroes in this era??



YEAH BABY YEAH!! *Mimics Mike Myers*

And his most irritating yet funny Nemesis!



DR EVIL!!!

*Sticks right hand Pinkie tip horizontally to right side of lips*

Muahahahahaha..

You know what? I'll catch the upcoming movie "Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow" starring Angelina Jolie. You know the movie will probably have a retro theme somewhere when the cast has names like Polly Perkins and the backdrop of the movie being set in the periods of World War I and II. Check out Angelina's new image -



Enough Said. I'm gonna go find some babes to groove to. Oh behave.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Dunno What's WronG With Blogspot

Today I understand something about Blogger - Do NOT blog halfway, go for lunch, come back and try to publish your post and when the page server fails to load - YOUR WHOLE POST DISAPPEARS.


RESOLUTION -
IN FUTURE I WILL ALWAYS OPEN A SPARE WINDOW AND CARBON COPY ALL MY WORDS BEFORE I ATTEMPT TO PUBLISH A POST THAT TOOK ME HOURS TO WRITE WHILE I AM PONDERING SOME THOUGHTS
.


*hUFF*

Everytime this happens I lose all mood to blog properly [Refer to a previous post] and I start to provide summarised versions.

Right, Corporate Training ended last Sunday and basically I left the area feeling that I am really really lucky to belong to this particular Division in the entire Stat Board because I can hold my hands and swear we work as a family. Mind you, as compared to my previous job at OUB [Before it was taken over by UOB], this Division
ROCKS
. Personal Opinion I would say the job is not appealing for it involves Licensing, Collections and Appeal cases. I would face desperate bankuptcies, bad-tempered summons-issued people and totall pissed warrant-issued members of the public. There were a few ladies who joined about the same time as me and they have all left, save me. A BiG tribute to all my senior colleagues because if not for them, I'd have probably become some jaded and cynical Scrooge.

I did a Character Profiling at the Corporate Camp and this is the summarised version of my Profile -

You can easily become bored and like work with wide variety. You are likely to be outgoing and sociable. A job that involves a lot of projects and/or meeting with people on a regular basis will be of interest to you.

You may, from time to time, be a little impatient and want to push things along at a fast pace. This means that you will be seeking lots of new ideas and opportunities. Indeed, you may deliberately set a number of projects running at the same time, in order to fufil your wide-ranging interests and energy. However, you usually balance this with a concern to make sure things are finished, even if it means putting yourself and others under a lot of pressure.

As a result, you try to put some structure into the way that you work by setting deadlines and goals, even if from time to time you do miss or have to rearrange them. It is your concern to have an efficient and effective team that can make you impatient with people when they do not fufil plans. Your outgoing way of relating to others shows your attitude to seize up the situation fairly quickly. While some people find this helpful, others may find that your approach puts them under pressure.

Working on a plan and devising a scheme to chart future progress is usually important to you. Indeed, you will often work to long-term plans which are based more on your ideas than the facts available. You will usually have a strong grasp of the total, long-term picture even though the supporting details may not be clear.


Right, convert these into bullet points and you get -

I am impatient because I push hard for results.

I like to do several things simultaneously.

I do not like people who do not push themselves to perform.

I appear as rather domineering at times.

I am not very tolerant of mistakes.

I am always enthusiatic about working on a new challenge.

I usually influence people to a certain extent.


*Smiles* How true. Almost feels like I have been photocopied and converted into text format right before my eyes. Well I do apologise if my words sound harsh at times but please try to understand, I am not a very sensitive person as my ultimate goal is to get the job done. Details and Constant Considerations are not my forte.



Caught White Chicks last Friday with A [lady] at Tampines Mall. Jokes were pretty funny though overall it's slapstick comedy. If you like Phua Chu Kang this movie would definitely tickle you bad enough. Oh, you ain't seen nothin' with the make-up for Michael Jackson in "Ghosts" till you see this



OH MY GOD.

Well, in short 2 black cops assigned to protect 2 blondes from possible kidnappers. They decided they will dress up as these 2 blondes to lure the kidnappers out. A big comedy stab at the Hilton Sisters I would say.



One New Word I've learnt from the movie - Bitch Fit.


After the movie we grabbed a light meal at Fish & Co. around 9:45pm [Kinda surprised the kitchen was still open though] and had a good laugh talking about some of the funniest scenes of the movie. She surprised me though when she mentioned she's a big fan of Horror Movies and the scarier the better. She prefers classic types more though like "The Exorcist" and "The Ring" which made me baffled as I didn't like Horror Movies but I found "The Ring" boring or perhaps I cant appreciate classic horror movies. Fine, call me a coward but I would much rather let my heart jump out to psychological genius like Anthony Hopkins stalking his next victim.


Jazz Conditioning last Saturday was a killer, towards the end of the lesson my muscles were so sore from all the stretching I couldn't even stand properly. But it felt good and my flexibility has improved. One I came to understand that in order to do a good piroutte your muscles at the side of your hips must be firm. Not necessarily strong like a body-builders but they must be able to hold your hips to prevent them from swaying all over the place. This in turn locks your shoulders and maintains your Centre of Gravity thus creating a "Cyclone" Effect on your centripetal force. Thats why you can spin effortlessly in one position for a continous period of time. Ooh..

Jazz classes tonite. Already Looking forward to them but first I gotta fly to meet my friend after work to help him chereograph a short dance for his performance. Guess the
song? *Loud Laughter*

Friday, October 01, 2004

Self-Effort

We had a new lecturer for our Social Psychology Module yesterday evening, apparently the information I wrangled out was an arrangement made by the School Management to allocate all full-timers under Ms Joanna and all part-timers under Mr Rajoo himself. Personal Opinion I felt that Mr Rajoo is more lively and makes the class more interested though he teached really fast. For once I thank myself that I put in lots of effort into building a strong foundation for my sociology otherwise I would be pretty confused about the comparisons of classical theorists in terms of Sociology and Social Psychology. Miss Joanna would be more relaxed but.. rumours were flying around that students actually complained that she's boring. I was thinking like "Hello.. Wake up.. You found it boring because you didn't do your readings beforehand! What do you expect? Spoonfeed you with information? Then you shouldn't be taking a degree! Go back to secondary or even primary school! God! Even JC students are more hardworking than you!"

Reminds me of Mr Steven's quote - But Steve, we're part-timers.. We have no time.. *Grumbles* LOL. I think I practically memorised the way he spoke with his hilarious expression of big bulging eyes and Irish accent. Wait, he is Irish. *Mumbles* Anyway, if you feel that you have no time to even put in some effort for your future then maybe you don't deserve one! Harsh? Sorry but this is the REAL world. Get over it, I don't think you'd say the same thing to your boss right? "But Boss.. we have no time.."

Hmmm... why this title came to mind partly links back to my previous post about my friend Mr J [Yes I still do consider him a friend despite the cold shoulder]. I'm a believer of Max Weber's theories. He said that the world or society we live in is just a massive interaction of individual actions and meanings. Not the exact phrase but the meaning is close enough. Social Interaction is the main factor in our lives. Almost sounded like Karma. So picture this, you walk into a room with all the people dressed in white carrying tagboards and you see nice clean white beds. What is your first impression? A Hospital? A Laboratory? And then you act accordingly. Just a teaser for you guys, better not bog you down with too much thoughts.

Yes, back to the topic of Self-Effort. So! Since I believe our actions constitute changes and reactions therefore I'm always believing that we have the power to change our destiny, shape our futures and make the impossible possible. Why the failures? It's about Determination and Motivation. How determined are you in pursuing for your goal? What motivates you? Do you self-motivate or are you easily influenced by surrounding factors? Something I noticed in people who are more business-minded - They usually react to changes with enthusiasm. Not like spreading the arms and go "Whopee!" but they have almost instant reaction and start planning the next move. Lose that initiative and you lose your business. Fine, I'm a Business Student so I'm blabbering all my Business Theories here. Start a debate with me! I'm always welcome for fresh opinions! Oh one disclaimer, have your facts and references prepared because I detest people who simply flame based on personal opinions. But if I start a personal opinion bring a volcano down on me by all means.

Why am I constantly sidetracking?? Damn I gotta organise myself. Anyway, Self-Effort! Yes, since I believe in our actions being the main factor for subsequent events I can tell myself - We can change our lives. For the better or for the worse. I'm not too forgiving about people who cant change despite consistent help rendered. Call me heartless but even the Big Guy has a quote - God helps those who help themselves. Do not think of it as him being lazy and you question him why? Why would I need your help when I can help myself? Silly, look deeper. He's saying Don't take things for granted. You gotta push yourself to make the change first then results will follow. And I'm not ashamed to say I was wallowing in my puke few years back till I recognised his message. Someone told me a very interesting theory - God is someone who walks by you when you're lost and no money to go home and he simply smiles and points to a ten-dollar note on the ground which you didn't notice before. But you have to start looking first.

I'm not preaching about Christanity or Roman Catholicism here. In fact I cannot comprehend why the distinction when it all boils down to the same Big Guy?? Not many people share my views though.

Enough thoughts for you guys today. Go ponder.